As I do annually (and sometimes quarterly, as was the case this year with the Spring Fling and Wooded Summer mixes), I put together a music mix… random gum holding the year together. I had finished it at one point, calling it Halloween 2011, but then ended up not sending the disc version out until Thanksgiving, so I revised and added a whole year-end section, which is why this list is split into two distinct parts (people who received the disc in the mail got it all as one).

More Good Goo of Random Gum
Halloween 2011

1. “You Will” – Lia Ices …I know, I know that you will transform us (or just me)/into the people that we’ve always wanted to be…
For Jane, whose understanding and (former – haha) friendship is priceless. And for those who imagine someone can actually do something to transform them into someone or something else…

2. “Hold On, Hold On” – Neko Case …in the end I was the mean girl/or somebody’s in-between girl…
Another nod to my existence as a consolation prize, “so nice, so sweet, but…”.

3. “Paris (Aeroplanes remix with Au Revoir Simone)” – Friendly Fires …so go and pack your
bags for the long haul/we’re gonna lose ourselves, I promise…
For KKK, who pushes and supports in equal measure.

4. “I’m Not Stupid” – Cat’s Eyes …I know I’m not a pretty girl/Be realistic…
For Aurélien. Captures perfectly my self-reflections.

5. “Mass Romantic” – New Pornographers
For weird strangers at cruising altitude, telling TMI life stories to captive audiences aboard long-haul flights.

6. “Let’s Run Far Away” – Capsula
Dreaming of running away with someone to somewhere new. Away from stupidity. Uruguay? Tahiti?

7. “Objects of My Affection” – Peter Bjorn and John …and the question is, was I more alive/then than I am now?/I happily have to disagree;/I laugh more often now, I cry more often now, I am more me…
“Yust” a little taste of Sweden, my new homeland.

8. “What About Us” – Handsome Furs …come on and break my heart, break my heart…
For Mark, as I was listening to this a lot when he came along. And to people who seem determined to crush my heart repeatedly (A).

9. “Second Song” – TV on the Radio …Oh body mind leaves me behind/And I’ll do you one better/While you define/Your heartless time/I’ll defend my love forever…
Lost in the soft folds of aural pleasure.

10. “No Time for Dreaming” – Charles Bradley …while you’re sleeping/somebody’s scheming…
Endless airplay on KEXP converted me. Everyone who likes my mixes should also be listening to/streaming KEXP.org.

11. “Lord Knows Best” – Dirty Beaches …you know well/that I don’t give a damn/about anything/but you…
It’s all in the sound. With love for anything that has the word “dirty” in it (but only pronounced with a British accent).

12. “Carbon Copies” – Joshua Morrison …My father smoked for 40 years now, and I swore to myself when I was young that I’d never be that way/Your mother drank for 40 years now, and you swore to yourself when you were young that you’d never be that way/But here we are now, carbon copies of the same thing…
For M and our early endless conversations. “There’s a burden in our blood dear… but I’m not afraid/And there’s a war within my heart here/But I’m not afraid, no, I’m not afraid/ cause I’ve got you./We’ve pretty much got it made.”

13. “Pills” – Fujiya and Miyagi …these little pills, may give you, dizzy spells…
For all the “fuck-it” moments that punctuate people’s frequent, self-destructive life choices.

14. “Pale White Horse” – Ghosts I’ve Met …when I awoke/the life boats were almost full…
For no particular reason; I just like the sound.

15. “Still New” – Smith Westerns …I wanna tell you/you’re hard to resist…
For all those people I cannot resist, no matter how hard I try (For starters, A-x, B/Toni, JKL).

16. “Wild Vanilla” – Kristin Hersh …That was one striking phone call, boy/Your voice at a fever pitch…
“You are whizzing past my ears, shit scared domestic god/You make the gypsy in me horny for the flower garden/You messing with my head makes a terrible noise…”

17. “North American Scum” – LCD Soundsystem …New York’s the greatest if you can get someone to pay the rent…
For KKK and my fellow North Americans, even those among us who don’t pass as North Americans anymore. “You see I love this place/that I’ve grown to know/and yeah, I know you wouldn’t touch us with a ten-foot pole/cause we’re North Americans…”

18. “A Chicken With Its Head Cut Off” – The Magnetic Fields …My heart’s running round like a chicken with its head cut off/all around the barnyard falling in and out of love…
For frustratingly manipulative JKL, who always knows how to keep a semi-interested, non-committal ball in the game. “My wife doesn’t understand me/many dozens hope to land me/I’m for free love and I’m in free fall/this could be love or nothing at all.” And the indecision of others: This could be love or nothing at all.

19. “Halah” – Mazzy Star …maybe I hold you to blame/for all the reasons that you left…
For when it’s all over and done, often sooner than you imagine or with a set expiration date. “It’s like I told you/I’m over you somehow/Before I close the door/I need to hear you say goodbye/Baby won’t you change your mind?”

20. “Not One Falling” – Mark Lawson
The surprising presence in 2011, part two. Reinvent? Elevate your game? But do we ever really do?

21. “200 More Miles” – Cowboy Junkies …but there’ll be no warm sheets or welcoming arms/to fall into tonight…
“But I wouldn’t trade all your golden tomorrows for one hour of this night.”

Gooier Random Gum
Year-end 2011/New Year 2012

1. “Grey Ship” – EMA …When the grey ship calls/It is calling for me/I thought it would come from/I thought it would come from further north than that…

2. “It’s Getting Light Outside” – Clearlake …when I speak/I know I’m listened to…
For all those with whom I reconnect after time passes, DH, CTC, AP. “Before you know, we’ll forget the time/and turn around and find we’ve talked all night…”

3. “Here’s a Little Something For Ya” – The Beastie Boys
Best song for staying awake when driving 1500+ kilometers solo from Berlin back home to Sweden.

4. “Crown on the Ground” – Sleigh Bells
Something appealing about how this is just a whole lot of loud noise, hastening my path to deafness.

5. “Tighten Up” – The Black Keys

6. “It’s Tricky” – Run DMC
Not sure why; I just love it.

7. “Jump in the River” (ext. remix) – Sinéad O’Connor with Karen Finley
It has taken me almost 20 years to find this remix again; it’s bizarre, disturbing and a little disgusting.

8. “Sleep Paralysist” – Neon Indian
“Watch you lose yourself/in momentary grace/It washes over you/then loses every trace”

9. “Waiting for You” – The Rosebuds
“And I tried to be myself (and I’m waiting for you)/And I tried to come around (and I’m waiting for you)/And I’ve tried to leave my way/(and I’m waiting for you, and I’m waiting)”. For ML.

10. “Northern Line” – Opal …And I won’t come back no matter what you say…
“I’m feeling no pain/don’t care if I ever see your face again…”

11. “Swerve… the reaping of all that is worthwhile” – Shabazz Palaces
For Annette. Even though there are no bus passes or being lost in a world made only for her.

12. “Walking Backwards” – Damon & Naomi
“And I’m not the kind/who lives forwards in time…”

13. “Bedside Table” – Adem
“You cut your head on the bedside table/your temple bled as you were unable to remember/the lines of what you were reading/about someone deciding to quit speaking.” How I wish I could just quit speaking.

14. “All I Know” – Mark Lawson …I’ve never been in love before/and all the time you knew/but you let me fall when I needed to…
Listening to these songs makes me think of some comment John Cale made of Lou Reed – how can someone so insensitive and inhumane write the most beautiful, sensitive and human songs?

15. “Benediction” – Thurston Moore …I know better than to let her go…
To recognizing you should not let someone/something go, but you do it anyway. “Simple pleasures strike like lightning…”

16. “Dark Days” – Gerald Collier …you long for who you were/way before my time…
Loving the blame game. “Somehow it’s my fault you have no dreams…”

17. “Hate” – Cinerama …cause I hate your style/and your smile/and I regret that almost everything about you makes me wish that we never met/we are just so wrong for each other/that it’s hard for me to understand/how I ever wanted you for a lover/I hate your country, your continent, and…
Need I say more? “I’ll agree to anything/that keeps you a long way away from me…”

18. “土曜の夜何かが起きる” — 黛ジュン (Dooyou no yoru nanika ga okiru – Jun Mayuzumi)
For Kyle. “Put your trousers on; you’re nicked.” Bag of cock! Bubble tea in Berlin.

19. “The Stand” – Mother Mother …Everyone’s fucked and they don’t even know…
Memories of rushing through the streets of Berlin at night with M (July 2011).

20. “Crazy Horses” – The Osmonds
The stark contrast of vast age differences and enviable bell-bottom trousers that Inken definitely wants to don.

21. “My Mistakes” – Eleanor Friedberger …I thought I’d learned from my mistakes,/I thought he’d learned from my mistakes,/I thought you’d give me the right advice,/I thought he’d let me in for one last time…
For Esteban, who has learned from, if not paid for, his mistakes…

22. “A Taste of Honey” – The Beatles
Sugar-free, honey-kissed Anzac baking sans golden syrup with kitchen master Mark, bursting into song.

23. “Boom Boom Boom” – Da Cruz
The best song for jumping/dancing around the kitchen while baking. That’s a promise.

24. “Between Something and Nothing” – The Ocean Blue …and I long to know you’re real/and I long for you to be a part of me…
It’s just like being in high school again. With love for the long-lost Terra.

25. “Vessel” – Zola Jesus
Memories of driving away from Strömstad with Mark and Inken; many a Swedish roadtrip, fodder for the King Pimp’s Book of Hoetry

26. “Dark Into Light” – AM & Shawn Lee
“Have we done our best to turn the wrong into right? Turn the dark into light?”

27. “You Know What I Mean” – Cults …I can’t take things slowly…
“Lonely, that’s not quite my problem/I have all that I need, haven’t quite lost it/I try so hard to be happy/’Cause something goes wrong once again/Please, please come and save me/Tell me what’s wrong with my brain/’Cause I’ve seem to have lost it” Had already chosen this for inclusion when dear Catherine sent me the Cults CD – great minds…

28. “The Ballad of a Ladyman” – Sleater-Kinney …nothing I do/smoothes out the feelings of being used…
A song epitomizing the recurring theme and feeling of summer 2011. “We’re not a bank, Jerry.”

29. “No Tears” – Tuxedomoon …no tears for the creatures of the night…
For Mark and Inken. Summer nights in Berlin, and coq au vin for three.

30. “Neue Straßen” – Metro Pakt
For Mark and my last Berlin moments… loving how all this German music references communication mechanisms like telephones.

31. “Poupée de cire, poupée de son” – France Gall …Elles se laissent séduire/Pour un oui, pour un non/L’amour n’est pas que dans les chansons/Poupée de cire, poupée de son…
One last late-night Oslo drive, filled with my singing Gainsbourg’s “Les sucettes” (fitting!), as August, and the always-surprising, frustrating, long-term dalliance, ends. Au revoir!

32. “Heights of Diamond” – Adam Stephens …cause your touch still lingers/on my shaky fingers/and the feeling fades away…
The clash of abstract feeling and physical presence. “Everyone seeks someone to betray.” For ML, JKL

33. “Sinner” – Neil Finn …and the closest I get to contentment/is when all of the barriers come down…
“Sinner – there is no such thing.” For Mike (Mao) and for the liberating feeling of acceptance

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/sy-14247011/neil_finn_sinner_official_music_video/

34. “All That Money Wants” – Psychedelic Furs …people fade and I forget you…
For the Kristas and the Ambers and other beloved and vulnerable Psych Furs friends.

35. “Abducted” – Cults …I knew right then that I’d never love her…
The same old story: “I knew right then that he would be breaking my heart.” A, M and so on…

36. “Desire Lines” – Deerhunter …when you were young/and your excitement showed/but as time goes by/does it outgrow…
For KKK and my switched-off emotions. “Whatever goes up must come down.”

37. “Fearless” – Pink Floyd …and who’s the fool who wears the crown?…
For our king: Here’s to the romance of Lidl parking lots and always choosing callipygian people over those who are simply… nice.

38. “Somebody that I Used to Know” – Gotye …I told myself that you were right for me/But felt so lonely in your company…
Thanks to dearest Lóa and our American Thanksgiving in Seattle. “Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over/But had me believing it was always something that I’d done/But I don’t wanna live that way/Reading into every word you say/You said that you could let it go/And I wouldn’t catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know…”. And M, anticipating the day he is someone I used to know.

39. “In the Pines” – Widowspeak …we live where the sun never shines/in the pines, in the pines…
Thank you to Aurélien, finally having the happiness he deserves…

40. “Warning Sign” – Coldplay …a warning sign/you came back to haunt me/and I realized/that you were an island/and I passed you by/and you were an island to discover…
“I started looking for a warning sign/when the truth is: I miss you.” One of those songs that immediately returns me to a moment in time (2002). I don’t much listen to Coldplay, but they came up one night and seemed apropos for this period in general. For ML, JKL.

41. “Roadkill” – Pulp …drove to the airport through a traffic jam/a deer lay dying in the road/I guess I should have seen it as some kind of sign/but I don’t believe in them no more…
Stressed and always late (to the airport), while I am always early – I should have seen it as a sign and a liability. “All these things I can’t forget/though I don’t see you anymore.”

42. “Animals” – CocoRosie …Like memories of porno and tearstains/And tobacco/ O it’s a mini disastro…
“Slow motion I cling to my child desperate for love.” Deadlines. No Oktoberfest. I might care, but that does not make something good for me. “Maybe I had lied when I said I was okay.”

43. “Voices Fill My Head” – Mark Lawson**
May never be able to get this voice out of my head…

**By far the most popular, most commented-on song on this entire mix.