I recently watched the TV show Broadchurch. (Great show by the way.) It struck me that when the main cop lady asked spitefully, early on in the show, “How could you not have known or seen?” when meeting the ex-wife of a criminal, it stuck with me. Clearly this judgmental moment would come back to haunt and foreshadowed some plot twist.

It also foreshadowed recent steps in my own life, though not in a negative way. It is truer to say that I came very close to self-sabotaging something because of my own fear. It was only after taking this little tumble that I saw everything clearly – it was like a trigger. In the past I have wanted to know where things stand, so I have intentionally forced the issue or forced someone’s hand. But in this case it was backwards. I could not see what was right in front of my face – at least not clearly – until I put myself, unintentionally, into an awkward position that required me to communicate about things that make me uncomfortable. I can look at myself and ask, “How could you not have known or seen?” – about myself.

“Sooner Cheat Death than Fool Love” – Cass McCombs