We got so far and then there was nothing

Standard

The slight heartbreak of little things piling up has hit me tonight. Already feeling a twinge of melancholy, the evening turned into a platform of little blooms of grief.

My friend’s poor cat passed away this evening. It was not unexpected, but the loss of a beloved pet – lovely, non-judgmental pets – always breaks my heart a bit.

Of course, understated but never underrated actor Philip Seymour Hoffman also passed away, and it just seemed so deflating. Such a waste. I often wonder about people blessed and cursed with so much talent. I discussed drug abuse with someone earlier, and he said something about famous people and their drug habits, but it struck me (without having any knowledge on the subject) that many of the most talented people probably already struggled with addiction issues before they ever dreamt of becoming “famous”. There is, I like to imagine, something so intense about embodying that kind of talent and losing oneself in one’s performances, that the temptation to lose oneself in drugs or some “altered state” is too great.

Eventually I succumbed to a discussion on the fucked-up things that happen to us as children and our helplessness about it and how those things influence (but hopefully don’t control) us.

Meanwhile I reflect on my own little, private issues and how I cannot bring myself to be open about them, even when there is something optimistic about them.

Now I am just hoping the Seattle Seahawks will not destroy the only good thing that can come of this day.

Where is my Firewall?

Seahawks + Dodging Deer = Another Commute

Standard

This morning/middle of the night made for an awful commute. During the first third of the drive, the roads were clear, but every kilometer or so, I encountered big groups of deer playing in the road. I must have seen 100 deer in about 100 kilometers. I also saw a rabbit, which I have never seen around here, and two foxes. This winter, strangely, has been mostly devoid of moose. It occurred to me that my driving amounted to little more than dodging deer, which would not be a bad name for a video game. I got to use the whole road, just as the Seattle-based 1990s comedy sketch show, Almost Live encouraged Ballard drivers to do. You pay taxes on the whole thing – randomly weave all over the road!

On the second third of the road, most of it was covered with ice that had been covered over by snow. So many cars were off the road and so many tow trucks were pulling the cars out. The whole thing made me not only not want to drive but made me think seriously about the merits of living somewhere warmer – Hawai’i once more? Australia (perhaps much too warm)? Uruguay?

Thanks to the middle-of-night driving, I did not get to see my Seattle Seahawks win against the San Francisco 49s in their playoff game. It sounds like the Seahawks did not play at their best in the first half, so I know I would just have been getting angry and sick watching it anyway. By the time I was done driving the first two-thirds of the seemingly interminable three-hour commute and stopped off at a petrol station in Uddevalla, the Seahawks had claimed their place in the Super Bowl (versus the Denver Broncos). All kinds of mentions of it are going around the internet already – but it seems funny that the two places in the entire US to pass laws making recreational marijuana legal are the two places that send their football teams to the Super Bowl.

NFL Football Advertising

Standard

Everyone knows that the Super Bowl is the biggest advertising event of the year. But I realized while streaming the playoffs the other night that the NFL and the advertisers know their audience: men who want to be rugged by driving trucks. I swear that every commercial was about trucks – big trucks.

One old ad about Ford trucks always freaks me out.

American Football – Go Seahawks – No Saints!

Standard

In any other game or season, I would cheer for the New Orleans Saints. But when it comes down to it, I have to cheer for the “home team” (one of my homes anyway) – the Seattle Seahawks! Normally Seattle teams suck, so it’s a futile exercise in cheering endlessly for the underdog throughout the existence of our teams (until they are taken away from us, like the Sonics). It’s heartbreaking but expected. When one of our teams does something, it’s like we cannot actually believe it’s happening – and even as it’s happening, it is like we cannot have real faith that the success will continue. I always expect our teams to lose it.

Tonight I am watching the Saints-Seahawks game and despite the Seahawks’ season-long success, I am still sitting here waiting for the other shoe to drop. Normally I would not bother watching, but I managed to find a stream that works (I don’t have a tv). It’s fun to see how Seattle managed to put on one of its typical January weather “shows” (crazy wind and rain).