And so this is… almost Valentine’s Day. It’s a “holiday” that means nothing to me, but nevertheless makes me a little sad almost every year. I cannot even say why. The last couple of years, a really good friend of mine (AP) sent me flowers, and that always cheered me immensely. This year, finding myself overwhelmed by the amount of music I was digging into since my last mix (Halloween), I had to (yes, simply had to) unleash it all on others. (And by the time the discs are received around the world and this listed is posted online, I will already have nearly completed my upcoming spring mix.) Honestly, my life has never been busier than it is right now and yet I still somehow find the time and uncontrollable urge to put all this together.

Maybe it is just my love and care needing to find its outlet somewhere. Some people get music, some people get cupcakes and cookies and some people get both.

The Definitive Goo of Random Gum

F*ck My Valentine 2012You brought out the worst in me – …a thousand memories fill/a thousand places…

1. “Lakehouse” – Of Monsters and Men …Oh, I miss the comfort of this house…
Memories of Iceland (had to choose an Icelandic band, of course) in December 2011, Reykjavik to Mosfellsbær, emptying out the last remnants of my old life there, spending time with my friends (Jane, Alfa, Lóa, Ph), having the best coffee I have had all year (thanks to Jared and Hulda!) Lóa: Our next FMA meeting is in Kópasker! “Can you chase this fire away?”

2. “Your Eyes” – Bombay Bicycle Club …I’m there when your fingers snap/it’s not where we left it at/I can see the love we trapped, coming back…
First heard from Truls, reminding me of the good old days before the communal office.

3. “Honey Bunny” – Girls …Mama, she really loved me/Even when I was bad/She’d hold my little hand/and kiss me on the cheek…
Trials of loving someone, good or bad. “And when I cried/she would hold me closely/and tell me ‘everything will be all right’”

4. “Hey Little Cobra” – The Rip Chords …Hey, little Cobra, get ready to strike…
For my mom and our 2011 Thanksgiving stuck with this song out in our heads. Endless car discussions.

5. “Mercy Seat” – Ultra Vivid Scene …But you can taste the fire for yourself…
A sound that grinds repeatedly through the brain. With love for Naomi.

6. “Revival” – Deerhunter …Darkness always/It doesn’t make much sense/Darkened hallways/Away from me, callin’ “stay”…
Song for jumping around the kitchen during baking frenzies; people I dream of but have learned to leave well enough alone

7. “Soviet Disco” – The Melody Unit …Stalin is sung about/like a father or a god once more…
For the first time in almost 20 years, frontman of the MU, Kevin, and I meant to meet up in November, but I ran out of time. Meanwhile I love this song. It makes me think about letting go of the past. I had carried around ancient reminders of the girl I used to be (hundreds of books about Russia). I let it all go in 2011, advancing with the “noise of time*” (*Шум времени, Osip Mandelstam)

8. “My Mistakes Were Made for You” – The Last Shadow Puppets …Innocence and arrogance entwined/in the filthiest of minds…
“About as subtle as an earthquake, I know…”

9. “The Dream” – Thee Oh Sees

10. “Don’t Call Me Darling” – The Fall …people hate beauty/I cannot fathom it/they smell of old paneling…
Soundtrack to my indie movie full of unknown actors. (And while you’re at it, don’t call me “babes” either.)

11. “The Bell Song” – Sumi Jo (Lakmé)

12. “Marooned” – Wire …Not present in the present, overboard with limited future…
“A blue-white polar bear arrives at the end/Diverting his attention, his feelings froze over…”Love for Ph and Teddy

13. “Gunfight Epiphany” – Rob Duncan …Living on the lam is like living on the sun…
Still missing Terriers, for which this was the theme. “And I walked like a ghost among the living and the born free…”

14. “Behind the Mask” – Yellow Magic Orchestra
I heard this again recently, reviving old half-joking love for Ryuichi Sakamoto. Sometimes we let go, sometimes we rediscover.

15. “Alive” – The Soft Moon

16. “India Sleeping” – Mars

17. “The Snow Leopard” – Shearwater …Well, I’ve had enough/wasting my body, my life…

18. “Lemonade” – Braids …And what I, and what I found is that we/We’re all just sleeping around…
For Aurélien, one of the first to introduce me to Braids. “Well I was joking with my lemonade/I told him to get fucked and then get laid./Now what do you say to a man who’s got no taste,/Who’s really got no potential…” Also for ML and JKL, all gone

19. “Hacienda Motel” – Pickwick …I’ll just take what I can get/I got it where I want it/or should I place a bigger bet…
Some Seattle music that vaguely reminds me of other things and makes me miss things I never really had.

20. “Keadilan” – Nasida Ria
Indonesia! I have long loved the sound of this and finally remembered to include it somewhere. (Can’t find a copy to use here.)

21. “Lightworks” – Atlas Sound …everywhere I look I see a light…

22. “Following” – The Phenomenal Handclap Band …who do you think you’ll be following/in this room in this room in this room?…

23. “Civilization” – Justice …lost in the silence, the call from the turbulent times/bound by the science that lives on the lips of the wise…

24. “The Drill” – Gui Boratto

25. “Something’s Turning Over” – Low …And just because you never hear their voices/Don’t mean they won’t kill you in your sleep…

26. “Leave It” – Bombay Bicycle Club …Don’t you go evade me now/Come see what you’ve done…

27. “Headlong to Ground” – Jupe Jupe

28. “Too Insistent” – The Dø …why won’t you let me go?…
The Bruno spell persists. Persistent, insistent thoughts of BB, JKL and A

29. “Second Chance” – Peter Bjorn and John …You can’t count on a second chance/The second chance will never be found…
Lots of second chances after hurtful moments, but there is only one straw moment. The end.

30. “Berlin” – Modeselektor
For my brief and former Berlin coterie

31. “Meet Me in the Dollar Bin” – Les Savy Fav …we got old/but we got good/and we did all/we said we would…

32. “Honey Come Home” – The Head and the Heart …Do you remember every block, every minute of every walk we used to take/we were young so many years ago…
Sad, melancholy lyrics. “Someday you will miss my head lying next to yours in our marriage bed”

33. “Twins” – Lia Ices …This is not the body/that I will grow old in…
With all my love for Jane. “In the morning, we rise and fall like flames/And we start sifting and sort through my remains…”

34. “Swing Your Heartache” – Young Galaxy …the institutions of the world will only serve to enslave us…
“Love is a battle” and “We believe in time that you will see/the frontier is misery…”

35. “Coming Down” – Dum Dum Girls …You abuse the ones who love you/You abuse the ones who won’t/If you ever had a real heart/I don’t think you’d know where to start…
You abusive individuals, you know who you are. Fuck Valentine’s Day and bullshit love clichés.