I’m going back to Minnesota where sadness makes sense
–Danez Smith

O California, don’t you know the sun is only a god

if you learn to starve for him? I’m bored with the ocean

I stood at the lip of it, dressed in down, praying for snow

I know, I’m strange, too much light makes me nervous

at least in this land where the trees always bear green.

I know something that doesn’t die can’t be beautiful.

Have you ever stood on a frozen lake, California?

The sun above you, the snow & stalled sea—a field of mirror

all demanding to be the sun too, everything around you

is light & it’s gorgeous & if you stay too long it will kill you

& it’s so sad, you know? You’re the only warm thing for miles

& the only thing that can’t shine.