You Would Know
–Marvin BellThat you, Father, are “in my mind,”some will argue, who cherish the presentbut flee the past. They haven’t my needto ask, What was I? Asking instead,What am I?, they see themselves bejeweledand wingèd. Because they would fly and have value,their answers are pretty but false:the fixings of facile alchemists,preferring their stones to brains.The brain, remember, is not foolproofeither, and does and does until it can’t.Sodden, quivering, crossed and recrossed,the mind can become a headstoneor be malice stuffed with fish.Everything changes so quickly. You who wereare no longer and what I was I’m not.Am I to know myself, except as I was?The rest is catchy, self-promising, false.Oh please write to me, and tell me.I just want to be happy again. That’swhat I was, happy, maybe am, you would know.