It’s so fitting that I am rambling about Ataturk and the birth of the Turkish republic, almost but not entirely oblivious to the fact that your eyes are following a very young woman as she walks away, and you will suddenly announce that we should get up and leave. You practically chase her down the street – pretending for my sake to be casual and cool. I might not even have known since I was in the store buying your beer. But since neither of you had a fucking clue about how to operate an iPhone, the exchange of information was too slow.

“It wasn’t planned, I didn’t follow her. I didn’t send you into the corner shop to buy me a beer so I could pursue her. I swear. It’s not what you think.”

The fact that I can get lost in talking about Ataturk while you chase girls – that should tell me all I need to know.