M&Ms: Begging to be used
I have only baked once this year – when I made some bagels and some pumpkin cheesecake muffins (recipe). For someone like me, this is weird. I have had M&M candy in the cupboard for some time, just screaming out for M&M cookie-making. But there they sit.
One day the baking bug will return but for now all I feel like is writing nonsense and working.
To accompany a stack of bureaucratic kind of stuff I needed to do this weekend but had been shuttling off to some dark corner for “another day”, I decided to watch a bunch of films (or half-watch, as was sometimes the case). Strangely when binge watching in that kind of succession, I don’t remember everything I watched. The other night I saw a decade-old Japanese film called Quill, about the life and training of a dog that went on to be a service dog (and its eventual death). I can only remark that the Japanese make fascinatingly weird movies and observations, and I am always astounded by how much Japanese I actually remember. (It is definitely a use-it-or-lose-it language, but its grammatical simplicity lends itself to quick recall – at least for me.)
As for today’s viewing, I cannot even remember what I watched. I remember In a World because it just finished now. I expected to hate it because Lake Bell normally grates on me hard – and a vehicle that is written and directed by and starred in by HER – could I expect something positive? Expect, no. But be pleasantly surprised – yes.
But what else? I was in and out of the house all day, doing these bureaucratic tasks and baking some muffins – meaning that the films weren’t really my priority. And there were some tv shows thrown into it just to mix things up (and mix up my memory). I saw a German film called Lore (since World War II stories so ably buoy one’s spirits…). And a French film called Sexual Chronicles of a French Family. And then… what? There was something earlier that completely slipped my mind until I was semi-immersed (when I was not in the middle of making a frittata, anyway) in the Sexual Chronicles film – the discussions on middle-aged (and older) sex lives made me feel a kind of strange melancholy, made me think a bit of a poem from Howard Nemerov (“Reading Pornography in Old Age”*) and then took me back a few hours to the film I had seen earlier in the day – Nicole Holofcener’s Enough Said, starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus and the late James Gandolfini (one of his, if not the, last roles). They are two regular, divorced, middle-aged people navigating the dating world, which – by their portrayal – makes it look just as awkward and fraught with missteps as dating at every other stage in life (even if things start out auspiciously enough – as though they have both gotten past insecurities and issues that tripped them up in earlier life). Yes, middle-aged, divorced dating movies, despite the sweetness of this one and its charming, funny and self-deprecating dialogue, depress me.
Hmm. And that’s enough said.
I leave you in Nemerov’s capable hands.
*Reading Pornography in Old Age
Unbridled licentiousness with no holds barred,
Immediate and mutual lust, satisfiable
In the heat, upon demand, aroused again
And satisfied again, lechery unlimited.
Till space runs out at the bottom of the page
And another pair of lovers, forever young,
Prepotent, endlessly receptive, renews
The daylong, nightlong, interminable grind.
How decent it is, and how unlike our lives
Where “Fuck you” is a term of vengeful scorn
And the murmur of “sorry, partner” as often heard
As ever in mixed doubles or at bridge.
Though I suspect the stuff is written by
Elderly homosexuals manacled to their
Machines, it’s mildly touching all the same,
A reminiscence of the life that was in Eden
Before the Fall, when we were beautiful
And shameless, and untouched by memory:
Before we were driven out to the laboring world
Of the money and the garbage and the kids
In which we read this nonsense and are moved
At all that was always lost for good, in which
We think about sex obsessively except
During the act, when our minds tend to wander.
I will start off by saying that I have fallen a wee bit – dubiously – in love with the word “caper”. I had not given it a whole lot of thought in my life until recently when someone started using it in everyday life, e.g. “I am not interested in American football and that kind of caper.” This eventually prompted me to look the word up – having previously associated it primarily with pickled little berry things some of us eat and The Great Muppet Caper. I was entertained by the definition (“a frolicsome leap”, “a capricious escapade”, “an illegal or questionable act”).
Tonight’s caper – which, if successful, may lead to the actual consumption of… capers – involves the making and baking of bagels.
It is after all time for me to get back in the saddle with baking in general (I have not really baked since last year) and specifically with my second attempt at making bagels. I got all the “fixins” at the store today (you know, you need that high-gluten flour) and prepared my sponge tonight – it will be ready for full dough making in the morning.
bagel sponge! the blob! it’s growing out of control!
My first attempt, I guess, went fine. The final product was bagel-like, and I assume people ate them (because they told me they did). I did not eat them and did not witness anyone eat them, so it is also possible that these mythical eaters took the “bagels” (yes, quotes intentional), murdered people and then weighed down their bodies in the river using these so-called bagels. I just don’t know.
Not knowing, however, has not stopped me from pursuing bagel perfection and currying favor with some beloved colleagues.
A great update on this caper tomorrow when step two (the dough!) gets underway.
Almost no cookie I have made in my whole baking life has been as popular as the white chocolate macadamia nut cookie. They used to grace each and every of my big bakes, but that was back when I could get my hands on white chocolate chips regularly. Those days are long over, and now I have to ration the chips I have. Interestingly though when I have made them, they are not quite the popular sweet bits they were in my old job.
I am going to make some of these this weekend – it has been ages since I baked. Time to get the assembly line moving again.
I am blessed because I have almost always had friends and colleagues who keep me supplied with some of the hard- (or impossible) to-get baking supplies (that is, impossible to get in Sweden – they bring back some of the more toxic or unusual American products) that sort of define my unique baking repertoire.
One good friend recently returned from the States and very kindly brought me peanut butter chips – which are wonderful, but what I had actually wanted was miniature peanut butter cups. I like baking massive chocolate chip cookies with a mini peanut butter cup baked inside. It’s overkill to some, heaven to others. Alas, I won’t be making the stuffed cookies but am dreaming and plotting about creative ways to employ the peanut butter chips. (I still have some peanut butter chips from the last time the same friend’s husband went to the States and was like a dedicated baked-good-supply mule for me!)
Normally I make chocolate cookies with peanut butter chips, but I would like to branch out and need to think of some good ideas.
What should I do?
Chocolate peanut butter filled oat bars?
Peanut butter cookies with peanut butter chips?
Or should I be trying to think up something entirely new?
peanut butter chips
Everyone knows I love to bake – and I bake and bake to the point of exhaustion and then come up with creative solutions for transporting all those freshly baked morsels to my office.
Sometimes, though, I go through cooking phases. I read a lot of recipes and gather inspiration for making real food. Trouble is, during the week I do not have a kitchen. And cooking only for myself is a drag. I need food guinea pigs and lab rats. And much more time at home in my kitchen.
Today I am overdosing on reading the archives of the Smitten Kitchen blog – filled with magnificent recipes, stories and pictures. Of course, what kicked it off was the post yesterday about chicken phở (me being a soup-obsessed wolf eel) caused a great stir in my brain. It also made me scroll through loads and loads of the recipes, dreaming about trying some out, experimenting. But why would I make a beyond-tempting coconut tapioca pudding with mango just for me – if I could even find tapioca with ease?
Sometimes the best discoveries come when you just don’t have all the things on hand that you would normally need. Recently I wanted to make a pumpkin pie but didn’t have cream, milk or condensed milk in stock. I thought about how I might make a non-dairy version and decided a coconut milk (which I always have!) variety might work well. Not completely sure what measurements I should use, I turned to the trusty internet and discovered the most lovely website: The Shiksa in the Kitchen.
Her recipe for coconut macaroon pumpkin pie sounds perfect on every level – so it’s up next on my baking plan. (Sadly, I did not get around to making it the other day because I had only one egg.)
The site, though, is filled with fabulous stuff like pretzel challah, rum and coffee beef brisket, gouda macaroni and cheese with pine nuts and golden raisins (I’d skip the raisins – but it otherwise sounds amazing), a gorgeous Mediterranean seven-layer dip and about a million other to-die-for recipes complete with mouthwatering pictures, and step-by-step instructions on how to do just about everything.
The Shiksa site does it for me in particular because I’m a baker through and through but not that creative or adventurous when it comes to cooking – so the recipes here for cooking actual food pique my interest and actually make me want to go in the kitchen and try stuff out. I’m in love.
I often joke about the “always-on” nature of the American professional. The work ethic is baked into the American psyche to the point that most Americans have trouble going on vacation without checking their email (what little vacation Americans get). It is not always so much that an American cannot stop working as it is that Americans feel less stress and enjoy the vacation more if they track what is going on in their absence, even if they don’t take action on anything during the vacation.
The Nordic work ethic, on the other hand, is just about the polar opposite. Vacation is serious and no interruption will be tolerated. In most cases. At least this is how it has been in most of my Scandinavian work experiences. While I will never be able to turn off the American worker bee inside me, I support the sentiment of separating work from vacation and time off, and thus am surprised and not pleased when I encounter Nordic corporate exception.
In managerial roles, people need to lead by example. I have of late encountered a lot of people who are taking work home, proudly announcing that they are up late at night answering emails and get up early to get two or three hours (!) of quiet time to work before they actually come to the office. The problem with this is not so much that managers are working at all hours, which is their prerogative, but that they are placing these kinds of expectations on others. I would call this a problem of “presenteeism”. You can be too present. Being present and working at all hours of day and night – and showing everyone that you are working – a manager is creating an environment that makes his/her entire team feel as though he is not doing enough if s/he is not working as much as the manager is, especially when this workaholic enthusiasm is overflowing. Nothing wrong with doing your job and loving it- but maybe some of the sending emails in the middle of the night could be curtailed.
Personally, I find this more troublesome when a workplace is particularly inflexible otherwise. With the way the workplace is changing, I would expect something different.
I have spent almost 15 years freelancing and working remotely. As the new century dawned and I took up residence in a new country, I had to adapt to a lot of new things – and part of that was finding a professional niche for myself. It also seemed like the dawn of a new era that would enable remote/virtual work, particularly in fields like mine (content development, writing, editing). To varying degrees, things have been moving in that direction, depending on the industry I worked in. Obviously the home office let me be the ever-present, never-present workaholic. That is, I have been available to work 24/7 without ever being present in an office. I have always been a happy American-style worker, and my home office is the most productive environment for me. As my regular, full-time jobs took the direction of allowing me to work primarily from home, I have realized that this is the only way for me to work.
The trick now will be to find the place that acknowledges my home as my office and will let me turn up in a real office on occasion, car loaded with hundreds and hundreds of cookies.
Send me a sign/leads – and cookies can be yours. Seriously – give me a lead, and I will give you cookies.
When I travel and stay in the homes of friends, I do enjoy continuing my baking obsession in their kitchens, but navigating foreign kitchens (and by foreign I mean both foreign in the sense that they are in other countries and in the sense that they are unknown to me) is a challenge. Very few people are as well-equipped as I am for baking activities, so baking in strange kitchens is always an adventure in improvisation.
An alleged attempt at onion focaccia bread
Once in Berlin I tried to make Anzac biscuits without access to brown sugar or golden syrup (and was making them with someone who was not eating sugar anyway). We went with honey and imitation sugar. He also had a wonky oven and nothing resembling baking sheets.
Most people (especially men) don’t even have mixers, so it’s all about stirring by hand.
Today’s retread of a baking adventure – onion focaccia bread. I made this last week (where the pic comes from) and am trying it again in unfamiliar environs. We’ll see how it goes.
Onion focaccia bread recipe
Bread dough
3 cups bread flour
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon sugar
½ tablespoon dry yeast
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup warm water
Sift all dry ingredients together (try this in a kitchen without a sifter or something similar!). Add the oil and warm water, stir to make a dough. If the dough is a bit too dry, as mine was, add a very small amount of water.
Knead the dough for ten minutes on a lightly floured surface until you have a smooth, stretchy dough. Place the dough in a clean, well-oiled bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Place in a warm spot and let rise until the dough is doubled. (This was a challenge because I’m in a house that has basically one bowl total.)
When dough has doubled (this took about 45 minutes for me), roll it out to a 25cm/10 inch round size and place in an appropriate pan. At home I used a 10-inch cast iron pan. Here there is no such pan so I am just baking it on a flat pan.
Cover with a damp cloth and let rise again for 30 to 40 minutes. Remove the cover, make deep holes in the dough, about 2.5cm/1 inch apart. Cover again and let rise for 20 minutes.
When it has risen, scatter with the onions, drizzle olive oil over the top and sprinkle with the sea salt (ingredients as listed in the “topping” items below. Not to be confused with “toppins” cast aside at a Pizza Hut and eaten by homeless Vietnam veterans living in cardboard boxes). Sprinkle a small amount of cold water on top to keep a crust from forming. Bake about 25 minutes. Cool on a wire rack.
Topping
1 red onion, sliced thinly
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
½ tablespoon coarse sea salt
Sitting here wasting hour upon hour, not wanting to do a damn thing. Watching season 8 of How I Met Your Mother after overdosing on two seasons of Scandal. I am a total television junkie. I don’t own a TV but I have five or six computers. That’s good enough for my individual viewing habits. But then I do this every time I have a Christmas break – if I have no plans or guests. Now I am considering making a new recipe. I will report back if I really do it.
Mocha mousse bar recipe
Crust:
1/2 cup butter
1 cup flour
2 tablespoons powdered sugar
Preheat your oven to 350°F. Prepare a 9 x 9 baking dish with a foil sling. Cut the butter into the flour and powdered sugar and press into the baking dish. Bake 18-20 minutes or until light brown. Set on a wire rack to cool.
Ganache:
6 tablespoons heavy cream
6 ounces bittersweet chocolate chips (50 or 60% cacao)
Place the chocolate in a medium bowl. Simmer the cream in a medium saucepan. When the cream reaches a simmer, pour the cream over the chocolate and let it stand 1-2 minutes. Whisk in until a smooth ganache has formed.You should do this while the shortbread is baking.
Set ganache aside until crust is finished and has cooled for a few minutes, and then pour it over the crust. Place the chocolate covered crust in the fridge to chill until the ganache is set into a firm layer.
Coffee Mousse:
1 3/4 teaspoons unflavored gelatin
2 tablespoons water
4 1/2 teaspoons instant espresso powder
1/4 cup sweetened condensed milk
3 tablespoons Kahlúa
2 cups well-chilled heavy cream
Prepare a bowl of ice water as an ice bath. Place 2 tablespoons of water in a small saucepan and sprinkle the envelope of gelatin evenly over the top. Let it soften for 2 minutes. Add the sweetened condensed milk and instant espresso powder. Heat the mixture over medium heat, whisking constantly, until the gelatin is dissolved and the mixture is smooth, about 2-3 minutes. Remove the saucepan from the heat, whisk in the Kahlúa, and then transfer the saucepan to the ice bath. Cool, whisking frequently, until the mixture is cold and thick.
While cooling, whip the chilled heavy cream to stiff peaks. Stir about 1/3 of the whipped cream into the cold espresso mixture, and then pour this mixture into your remaining whipped cream, folding it in gently. Pour this mixture over your chilled ganache. Chill the entire dessert until it’s set up nicely (it will take a few hours). Lift the bars out of the pan, slice into 9 servings.