I’d like to have more commentary on each song because there were reasons behind them, but time is too limited at the moment. It’s shocking that I even managed to compile a list.
01 Hopetoun Brown – Let’s Not Be Friends
New Zealand
02 Anna Calvi – Don’t Beat the Girl Out of My Boy
03 Hana Vu – Crying on the Subway
04 Manu Dibango – Sun Explosion
05 Karl Blau – Fallin’Rain
06 Malphino – Segunda Molienda
07 Lindstrøm – Blinded by the LEDs
Norway
08 A Certain Ratio – Do the Du – The Graveyard
09 Montero – Adriana
10 Julianna Barwick – Beached
11 Neil Finn – Chameleon Days
12 Black Grape – A Big Day in the North
13 Weyes Blood – Used to Be
14 Roxy Music – End of the Line
15 Porter Wagoner, Dolly Parton – Please Don’t Stop Loving Me
16 Nice As Fuck – Angel
17 Primal Scream – Movin’ On Up
Glasgow
18 Liar’s Club – Espresso Girl
19 Netherfriends – Be Yourself, You Piece of Shit
20 Honeybunch – All That’s Left of Me is You
21 Marshall Crenshaw & The Handsome, Ruthless and Stupid Band – You’re My Favorite Waste of Time
22 Marika Hackman – Time’s Been Reckless
23 Neko Case – Sleep All Summer
24 Anemone – Daffodils
25 Lizzy Mercier Descloux – No Golden Throat
26 Virginia Wing – Pale Burnt Lake
27 Flesh for Lulu – Slowdown
28 Nightlands – Lost Moon
29 Dory Previn – Atlantis
30 The Magnetic Fields – Smoke and Mirrors
31 Beyond the Wizards Sleeve – Creation
32 Loma – Dark Oscillations
33 Thousand – Le nombre de la bête
34 The Three Degrees – Collage
35 Spooky Mansion – Alright
36 Laure Briard – Je vole
37 Psychic TV – Just Drifting
38 Buzzy Lee – Facepaint
39 Creep Show – Modern Parenting
40 Belle & Sebastian – A Summer Wasting
Glasgow
41 Dark Sky – Jjj
42 TOPS – Outside
43 Mariee Sioux – Twin Song
44 Tintura – Sönum
45 EERA – Christine
46 Charlotte Dos Santos – Move On
47 Gloria – Beam Me Up
48 The Jesus and Mary Chain – Psychocandy
Glasgow
49 Cate le Bon – I Can’t Help You
50 Rod Stewart – You’re In My Heart
Not Glaswegian but a die-hard Celtic fan
I don’t have any words of wisdom this month. I’ve been busy with my sudden students status, but nothing ever stops me from finding and listening to music. I invite you to listen, too.
01 Nico – “The Fairest of the Seasons” …Yes and the morning has me/Looking in your eyes/And seeing mine warning me/To read the signs carefully…
Love for and thanks to AB… “Now that I’ve tried/Now that I’ve finally found that this is not the way”. 02 Brigid Mae Power – “Let Me Go Now”
Heartbreaking. “It was just too hard to love unconditionally/you can let me go now, that’s okay/it was just too hard to love in that way” 03 Belle & Sebastian – “Nobody’s Empire”
Glasgow love. “There was a girl that sang like the chime of a bell/And she put out her arm and she touched me when I was in hell” 04 Feu! Chatterton – “Grace”
The French past. “Le tendre passé qui nous hante/Croît comme un jardin vivant/Un terrain vague/Peuplé de très vieux mirages/De fleurs sauvages” 05 Akofa Akoussah – “I Tcho Tchass”
Tales of Togo and Togolese radio 06 Lower Dens – “Your Heart Still Beating”
“Your heart is still beating in all of my dreams/And I swore again and again/Never again” 07 The Helio Sequence – “Deuces” …now I’m gone/you’ve lost your hold on me…
PNW. “I don’t wanna be cool, I don’t wanna be distant/Or harbor grief for you/And I don’t mean to be cool, I don’t need to seem never like/I’m holding out for you” 08 Tortoise – “Yonder Blue” …Oh, I’ll fill the ocean with tears until I find you… 09 Gentle Hen – “The People You See Regularly Never Grow Old”
Hold them horses, hen. 10 Twerps – “Dreamin”
Australia/Melbourne 11 The Communards – “Don’t Leave Me This Way”
Glasgow disco. SD 12 BC Unidos, Shungudzo – “Ouagadougou” 13 Belly – “Superconnected”
Memories of driving-around singalong sessions with dear Tara in the mid-90s and our continued connection 14 Alberteen – “Infant Nation”
Thanks to inimitable AB 15 Silver Apples – “I Have Known Love” 16 Veronika Boulytcheva, Natalia Ermilova – “Ouj i ja li moloda”
A song that hurts most people’s ears – reminds me of college and my dad saying this sounds like ”wailing Chinese people” 17 Yo La Tengo – ”Pablo and Andrea” …someone came and took all the roses away…
“I’ll cover for you like a slipcover covers a chair” 18 Geowulf – “Greatest Fool”
Aussies in London. “Point at me and laugh, my love/’Cause I thought we were enough/Guess I make the greatest fool/Gentlemen, I’ll humor you” 19 Julian Cope – “Sunspots” …I’m in love with my very best friend…
Back to high school and the nightmare “environmental camp” I went to one year trying to make a friend feel better 20 Hoshi – “Comment je vais faire” (acoustic version) 21 Alabama Shakes – “Dunes” …Somewhere in me, a memory that I cannot gather anymore… 22 Delta 5 – “Mind Your Own Business”
Words of wisdom 23 Diane Coffee – “Hymn”
“So come on, walk to your house/You put a record on”. Afternoons after school listening to records, love to my school friends (Terra, Leighanne, Gary) 24 Sugar Candy Mountain – “Atlas” 25 Lost Horizons – “The Places We’ve Been”
Vocals by Karen Peris from The Innocence Mission 26 Cinerama – “Tie Me Up”
“You own me, you own me, and I’m not arguing” 27 Emily King – “Sleepwalker”
“I feel my body move without me again/Ooh, like a sleepwalker getting closer to him” 28 Tracy Chapman – “Smoke and Ashes”
Reminds me of the interminable summer of 1996 29 The Stone Roses – “Love Spreads”
I never cared much for this Roses song, but after seeing it live, it took on a different feeling 30 of Montreal – “Last Rites at the Jane Hotel” …These tears I cry for you must prove that I’m not the demon that I’m meant to be…
“Other people can be so disappointing/I need to spend more time alone” 31 A Taste of Honey – “Boogie Oogie Oogie”
For SD, as all danceable tunes are 32 Bam Spacey – “Avstånd och skog”
Malmö. 33 Heather Nova – “What a Feeling”
“Life is only half way in our hands/Years have passed while I was making plans/And I could never find the words/I always felt absurd, and always outside” 34 Kalbells – “Alonetime” …life can be so emotional/when you’re lonely…
Springtime. Here’s cheers to Annette, AB, SD, J, Anne 35 Fastbacks – “I Never Knew”
The old Seattle haunts and sounds; Oslo tunnels 36 Brandi Carlile – “Sugartooth”
Locals 37 Olden Yolk – “Cut to the Quick” 38 Low – “Let’s Stay Together”
Because yes, sometimes, people do stay together 39 Indigo Girls – “Kid Fears”
It’s like junior high school again, and somehow makes me think of Amie 40 Bedouine – “Summer Cold” …You say, ‘What have they done to you friend?’…
Armenian-American via Aleppo. “I’ve had enough of your guns and your ammunition” 41 Orange Juice – “Untitled Melody”
Glasgow. “You need me more or less, I need you more and more” 42 Belly – “Judas My Heart”
“Where I live/There’s a blanket of sighs and it covers the stars/In my heart, I’m as hungry as ever” 43 Madeline Kenney – “Signals”
“A signal is what you use in your car, dude. Not a way of communicating with someone who clearly needs direct answers.” 44 Sevdaliza – “Amandine Insensible” …There’s a woman, she’s every fantasy/And no reality in one…
“How can I suffer without the pain?/Can we struggle without the shame?” 45 Dori Freeman – “Cold Waves” …There’s something bitter and it’s tyin’ up my tongue/My body’s restless but I’ve got nowhere to run…
“I’ve got a lover and he loves me very well/He took my broken heart and brought it back from hell/And with the slightest glance and movement he can tell/That I am lost and only he can lift the veil” 46 Deep Throat Choir – “In My Bed” Amy Winehouse cover 47 Aidan Moffat, RM Hubbert, feat. Siobhan Wilson – “Cockcrow”
Scotland 48 Salad – “Warmth of the Hearth” …Here comes the hearth/We’re almost there baby/I’m on the path/Missing you already…
One of those bands that never quite hit (I loved them) but has reunited to tour recently 49 Julia Lucille – “Lie and Wait” …What do you think should we take it slow/Or go as fast as my body wants to go…
“Wrapped up in your loving arms imperfect as I am/You don’t tell me I’m beautiful, you tell me I’m a badass but/I hold back my love” … “What do you think was it too much too soon/I felt your mind just leaving when I walked into the room”. I like almost nothing more than I like Julia Lucille these days. 50 The Go-Betweens – “Dive For Your Memory”
“When I hear you saying/That we stood no chance/I’ll dive for your memory/We stood that chance”
It comes just slightly early – the April random gum soundtrack. I also think I will be sending out a few copies on CD (along with the previous few months’ music) in postal form because there are a handful of people who need more candy.
01 Negative Gemini – You Never Knew …now you’re pretending that i’m someone you never knew…
For all the beautiful negative Geminis 02 Gianna Lauren – Mistakes …Mistakes, they are my own…
Thank you to Esteban 03 ABC – All of My Heart …What’s it like to have loved and to lose that much?…
Thanks to J 04 Vorderhaus – Tanz Tanz Tanz oder ich bin verloren
Thanks to ML & Inken
05 The Jack Moves – Doublin’ Down 06 Mark Gaetani – Rwanda
With Rwanda on my mind 07 The Aislers Set – Cocksure Whistler …Showers icy but the streets are chalk/Like the cocksure whistler’s on a winter walk… 08 Fine Young Cannibals – She Drives Me Crazy
For SD and to memories of Terra and her insistence that she would like to stick her tongue between Roland Gift’s front teeth 09 Katie Von Schleicher – Baby Don’t Go 10 Kelley Stoltz – Kim Chee Taco Man …Let your grace go wild…
“You’re not alone… You know the smile is real/It’s something you can feel/The stars with twisted teeth/Not so out of reach!” For Martina: “The Kim Chee Taco Man/The real Mexican” 11 Lushes – Low Hanging Fruit
For Annette and our dislike for low-hanging fruit preachers with deer-in-the-headlights eyes 12 Mugison – Patrick Swayze …there’s a ghost living here in the scrapyard…
For SD, the Swayze gym and the way Scottish people talk, even over strange Icelandic soundtracks 13 Jane Weaver – I Wish …I wish you were cool/I wish you were something…
MP. “So you really did nothing/So you really did nothing of concern?/In the distance I’m humming/Are the whispers nothing?” 14 Olivia Newton-John – Hopelessly Devoted to You
Sing-song singalongs with SD 15 Negative Gemini – Don’t Worry Bout the Fuck I’m Doing
“I don’t care about your shit face, the street goes down two ways, Don’t worry bout the way I’m going” 16 Belle and Sebastian – Poor Boy
True words. “Poor boy, I could never live up to your imagination/Poor boy, I was a crush that killed” 17 Emma Lee Toyoda – Nünü 18 Indeep – Last Night a DJ Saved My Life
SD and locker-room recordings 19 Feu! Chatterton – L’oiseau
Merci, Laurent. 20 Karen Marks – Cold Café …on the esplanade/my coffee’s gone cold/I won’t forget the sounds/you left me…
Australia. 21 Robyn Hitchcock – Godnatt Oslo 22 Cat Power – Nude as the News
Memories of Seattle, Naomi and the Finn from Funland 23 Ösp Eldjárn – Ástarnetið
Thanks to and love for Eva 24 Maggie Björklund – The Road to Samarkand
Danmark 25 Veronika Boulytcheva, Natalia Ermilova – Зачем тебя я, милый мой, узнала …И сердце песню радости поет…
For J. This ‘relic’ from the college years pops into my head now and then. I had to dig through all my old CDs to find it. 26 Houndstooth – Bliss Boat …words are just a poor man’s pennies, dear…
Portlanders. I love the sound of this. “My aching heart/my wounded knee/you were the only air I breathe” 27 Kon Kan – I Beg Your Pardon (I Never Promised You a Rose Garden)
Thinking back to being 13 and the people populating that period 28 Clara Luciani – Comme toi
“J’ai le coeur qu s’égare en attendant que toi/Qui me ressemble tant, qui ne me comprend pas” 29 The Sundays – God Made Me
“We’d love to be good but we’d rather be bad/But how was I supposed to know that?” 30 Scott Fagan – In My Head 31 Martha Ffion – We Disappear …guess we never really knew how good we were…
Irish in Glasgow 🙂 32 Velly Joonas – Kaes On Aeg
Estonia 33 YACHT – I Thought the Future Would Be Cooler
“Got my broken heart—/I got it sold right back to me—/By an algorithmic social entity!” 34 Widowspeak – Dead Love (So Still) …Even if it wasn’t as good/If it didn’t hurt so bad to remember… 35 The True Loves – The Dirty
Seattle, you know… 36 Martin Courtney – Airport Bar …I can pass the time/But I can’t undo the changes once they’re made…
“Life in that dream was just what it seemed/If I knew then what I know now I would not have stayed” 37 Cate Le Bon – Aside from Growing Old
“What’s the hubbub, I’m losing my mind/I’m running from people/What’s the measure of a passing time/I’m, I’m running from people/Deep seated inconsequence/Still running from people” 38 Fleetwood Mac – The Chain …And if you don’t love me now/You will never love me again…
For Erin 39 Vendredi sur Mer – L’amour avec toi 40 Laura Marling – Gurdjieff’s Daughter …Darkness can’t do you harm/Fear will hurt you…
“Man is made in such a way that he is never so much attached to anything as he is to his suffering.” –Gurdjieff 41 The History of Apple Pie – Keep Wondering
I keep wondering about some never-tasted mysterious apple pie 42 Jane Weaver – Slow Motion …I want to feel the life we loved in the sun,/Slow motion…
“Let’s get together/We keep changing/Sometimes everything’s amazing/Then the silence/Reminds us we are lost/Stop listening/To other people/Whose agenda/Doesn’t seem good/Then exception is the only/Thing we’ve got.” 43 Dan Deacon – Feel the Lightning …I try not to worry/But I always worry… 44 Belle and Sebastian – Lazy Line Painter Jane …Being a rebel’s fine/But you go all the way/To being brutal…
Missing my Jane 45 Crybaby – When the Lights Go Out …There’s a beauty in this/A privilege in parting I know… 46 Meshell Ndegeocello – Waterfalls
A Meshell take on someone else’s song that somehow outshines the original. Love to Anne 47 Strawberry Runners – Dog Days 48 Jessica Lea Mayfield – Sorry is Gone …Leave me alone, but I want you with me every minute… 49 Damien Jurado, Richard Swift – Radioactivity 50 Veronika Boulytcheva, Natalia Ermilova – Вьюн над водой
Here we go… music for March, which is the most wintry month of all this year. Check out the whole playlist on Spotify.
marching on march 2018 – the good goo of random gum
01 Saint Etienne – “Nothing Can Stop Us”
*For poor deported, beloved Ben, who will nevertheless not be stopped; love for Tara, as this was one of our signature soundtrack songs when we used to spend time together 02 Negative Gemini – “You Weren’t There Anymore” ...you didn’t care at all…
*For at least those Gemini souls among us who are as negative as we’re accused of being 03 Vanishing Twin – “Choose Your Own Adventure” 04 Claudine Longet – “God Only Knows” 05 Neko Case – “Star Witness” 06 Los Zucara – “Lamento de Febrero”
*Uruguay. Love for J, Billy and Travis 07 Gwenno – “Tir Ha Mor”
*Wales 08 The Fall – “Mexico Wax Solvent”
*Love for Naomi – everything’s gonna be okay. (Must play LOUD) 09 Them Are Us Too – “The Problem with Redheads”
*Martina: Maybe Joel was right about the internet obsession with redheads. Haha. Sadly, one of the band members was among the dead in 2016 warehouse fire in Oakland, CA. 10 Dear Nora – “To Fall is Not to Fail”
“It’s better not to cry/Or to look me in the eye/When you leave and you let it go” 11 Yorkston/Thorne/Khan – “False True Piya” 12 Nicole Atkins – “Darkness Falls So Quiet” 13 Sexores – “Berlin”
*Despite being from Ecuador, this is one of two “Berlin”s on this mix. Sometimes I’m still missing it. Hard to believe it was already more than a year ago that I dashed off to Berlin for an afternoon just to see a movie, returning home the same night.
14 Julia Lucille – “Beneath the Spring” …Can a woman love/and not lose herself?…
*The countless onslaught of talented Julias continues. “We’ve had some fun/We’ve had some good loving/On to the next thing/My conscience forcibly brings/So many things that I could do/One of them being you/The slow slide into lying/And here come endless apologizing” 15 Beach House – “Chariot” 16 Pérez Prado – “Mambo No 5”
*A curious, out-of-place thing that reminds me of the misery of being 19 17 Siobhan Wilson – “Whatever Helps”…you’re stuck in the break of a wave/you’re haunted by a line from a song/you’re beaten by the wing of a prayer/try to move on…
*Glasgow. “Whatever helps to pass the time/when you’re on the other side/Switch it off, switch it off, whatever it is/That bleeds out all your best thoughts” 18 Thao & the Get Down Stay Down – “The Evening” 19 Tennis – “My Emotions Are Blinding”
*Love to Esteban & Ana 20 Laura Groves – “Friday”…You never gave a sign of pieced together phrases that Ive heard… 21 Beach Fossils – “This Year” ...This year I told myself it’d be a better one/Try not to fall back onto the knife… 22 The Raincoats – “Lola” 23 Ramona Lisa – “Arcadia Reprise” 24 Franska Trion – “Empty Space” *Sverige, Sverige, Sverige 25 Gorillaz – “Clint Eastwood” *Thinking more of Digit the gorilla, Mike, and Jesse Dude (another plastic gorilla, featured in the main image), but also Filbert/Ph’s fleeting flirtation with ‘fame’ via Clint Eastwood. The strange world of models and film extras… 26 Pink Mountaintops – “I (fuck) Mountains” 27 Charlotte Adigéry – “Senegal Seduction” 28 The Luxembourg Signal – “Laura Palmer” 29 The Fall – “Pumpkin Soup and Mashed Potatoes” *When you need a dose of pumpkin soup to go with your fix of The Fall 30 Anika – “I Go to Sleep” 31 Jitka Zelenková – “Rád” *Another Czech check-in, which means … love to Anne & to Martina 32 CCFX – “The One to Wait” 33 Katie von Schleicher – “Life’s a Lie” 34 Andrea Davidson – “Thank You Fuck You” …thank you for what we went through/and fuck you for something, too/I’m done with you… 35 Negative Gemini – “Ice Sluts” *Lóa: Is an ‘ice slut’ a cross between a ice queen and a fuck mattress? 🙂 36 Pale Saints – “Half-Life Remembered” …It’s eating you away and some will never know it’s taste… *O, emotional waves of late teen years. It’s like sitting in traffic-safety class in high school, the long drive to university, and more crying jags that I can count: “Biting off more than you can chew again/You’re just a child/And all you know is/That it’s sweetness brings you close to tears/Each time you can’t resist/And some will never know it’s taste” 37 Belle & Sebastian – “The Party Line”
*A spontaneous leap one day, deciding to go see B & S after many years of wanting to. And it was as lovely as I needed it to be. (And come on now, gotta love Glaswegian bands to bits.) 38 Gentle Hen – “I Wasn’t Looking for This” *Thinking mostly about the use of “hen” as a Scottish term for a woman: “Gie us a kiss, hen“. “I wasn’t looking for this/I wasn’t ready for this/But it’s so convenient, I don’t have to do a thing/And I’ve always been lazy at best” 39 Meshell Ndegeocello – “Sometimes It Snows in April”…Springtime was always my favorite time of year/A time for lovers holding hands in the rain…
*Meshell doing Prince. For Anne, whom I must see in April. 40 Hanne Hukkelberg – “Berlin”
*Norway... merci, Andreas 41 Madonna – “Crazy for You” *Ended up here in some roundabout way after mentioning to S that Matthew Modine‘s daughter, Ruby, is in the US version of Shameless; he said he can only remember an 80s movies starring Modine that had this song in the soundtrack but couldn’t actually remember the movie (Vision Quest, of course, about wrestling… “God, you can count. See, I knew you had to be smart to be a wrestler.” –The Breakfast Club) 42 Kate Bush – “The Kick Inside”
*I fully, firmly believed I would never, ever appreciate Kate Bush. I have tried so many times over the years, and I just couldn’t hear it. Then suddenly in February, it was the right moment. More proof that we do change, and our tastes can in fact become more expansive rather than contractive. 43 10,000 Maniacs – “Trouble Me” …Why let your shoulders bend underneath this burden when my back is sturdy and strong?…
*And with the inclusion of this song, which I have never liked, we devolve (further) into the world of adult-contemporary, near-easy-listening. I remember my anger in 1989 when this song displaced The Cure from some top-five-of-the-week on some MTV show. Seems hilarious that I cared so much. I thought of this again recently when someone said, “I’ll trouble you later” and I said, “You could never trouble me.” 44 Crowded House – “She Goes On” …Pretty soon you’ll be able to remember her/lying in the garden singing/right where she’ll always be/the door is always open/this is the place that I loved her/and these are the friends that she had/long may the mountain ring/to the sound of her laughter/and she goes on and on…
*RIP Margaret, who died on 16 February 2018; “til we see her once again/in a world without end…” 45 The Sundays – “When I’m Thinking About You”
*Remembering the varied tastes of Mr Watts when we used to talk and he remembered weird folks like me 46 Pink Martini, The von Trapps – “Rwanda Nziza”
*Dreams of, thoughts on Rwanda 47 Cowboy Junkies – “Come Calling (Her Song)”
*One of those songs that, catching me at the right moment, makes me cry, remembering exactly where I was when I heard it, repeatedly, in one of the worst times of my life 48 Jane Weaver – “I Need a Connection”
*Opening act for Belle & Sebastian – when deciding whether to go spontaneously to see them, seeing that Weaver was opening, that tipped the balance and made me decide to go 49 Sarah Klang – “Milky Way”
*Gothenburg love 50 Shamir – “Lived and Died Alone” …I resign myself to the fact/that I will always love/never to be loved back…
*A beautiful ending, sad sentiments
01 The Supremes – Love is Like an Itching in My Heart
“Just an itching in my heart and I can’t scratch it” 02 Cate le Bon – Are You With Me Now? 03 Margo Price – Hands of Time
“Turn back the clock on the cruel hands of time” 04 Nana – Menino Carioca 05 Mary Lou Lord – I’m Ahead If I Can Quit While I’m Behind 06 BC Camplight – You Should’ve Gone to School 07 Sandie Shaw – (There’s) Always Something There to Remind Me 08 Sibylle Baier – Softly
Here’s to hidden women making their belated mark 09 Grizzly Bear – Losing All Sense
“Like a rogue wave you/Wash right over me/Losing all sense of what my body could feel/I was able to drift away from here/I have lost all control” 10 Gingerlys – Incandescent 11 BRONCHO – What 12 Sofia Freire – Canção da Bruxa 13 Dita von Teese, Sébastien Tellier – Bird of Prey 14 Marta Kubišová – Už se léto schovává
…Hang up the Czech habit. Love to Anne, to Martina, to Mr MI 15 Claudine Longet – Medley: Jealous Guy/Don’t Let Me Down 16 Belle & Sebastian – I’ll Be Your Pilot
All the Glaswegians 17 Nap Eyes – Delirium and Persecution Paranoia 18 Angel Olsen – How Many Disasters 19 The Supremes – Forever Came Today 20 The Barry Sisters – Vyoch Tyoch Tyoch
Can’t resist a Yiddish song, now can we? 21 Tommy Allen – Ghosts in the Walls 22 The Fall – There’s a Ghost in My House
RIP Mark E. Smith – who seems like the type to linger as a ghost in another dimension, tormenting people for all eternity from the beyond. 23 Jenny O. – Lazy Jane…I’m feeling blue/Cause I can’t have you…
“I’m never gonna be a cheerleader/I can’t do tricks/And I ain’t that sick”. For all those so far away now I will never get them back 24 Emma Gatrill – Odd Ones Out
“Don’t judge a book by its cover/Its façade is simple, simple to see/But by twenty pages in/You’ll find the story is not what it first seemed” 25 Over the Rhine – Latter Days 26 Al Masrieen – Men Awel Deqiqa 27 The Fall – Feeling Numb
One can only feel numb at the passing of Mark E. Smith (RIP), knowing the end probably could easily have come earlier. Still, the only good thing about his death is that I have learned about so many more people in my circles who are fans of The Fall, and I might never otherwise have known. 28 Hollie Cook – Desdemona 29 Emahoy Tsegué-Maryam Guébrou – The Homeless Wanderer
Ethiopia 30 The Fall – Big New Prinz
I didn’t think much about how The Fall served as a soundtrack thread through most of my life until the recent passing of the cantankerous Mark E. Smith. All the way back to my adolescence, when my friend Terra and I would be sucked in by the aggressive sounds of “Big New Prinz” (and the rest of the songs from the same album), and not too long thereafter when my bricklayer pen pal Peter in the north of England would send me mixed cassettes that included loads of The Fall. And then how Naomi and I would share this connection and even see The Fall together many, many years ago. The Fall continued to help me forge surprising connections through the years. 31 Renata Zeiguer – Follow Me Down 32 Duke Garwood – Blue 33 France Gall – Laisse tomber les filles 34 Mattiel – Whites of Their Eyes 35 Yo La Tengo – I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry 36 Slow Club – In Waves
“You can’t tell me you’re not like this/Staring down the pages of the shit you’ve missed/Hoping you’ll find a way to change/Days spent waiting in my living grave” 37 Julia Lucille – Darkening
Such pretty sounds “As I’m darkening I must go alone” 38 Brigitte Fontaine – Une fois mais pas deux 39 Ofege – It’s Not Easy
Nigeria 40 Luwten – Pinball
“I am the pinball/I am the deer/I hear the shot/I disappear” 41 Mogwai – I’m Jim Morrison, I’m Dead
“Jim Morrison… Van Morrison more like!” For S (naturally with an additional nod to Glasgow in Mogwai) 42 Wooden Wand – Mexican Coke
Martina! You know if it’s Mexican I will tag you! 43 The Fall – British People in Hot Weather
I had been an avid anglophile as a kid/adolescent, and I don’t really know what happened to make me so negative on the English. Still, The Fall has been something of a ‘negative soundtrack’ all along. 44 De Lux – When Your Life Feels Like a Loss 45 Ramona Lisa – Dominic
“Forgive me if I was too forward too fast” 46 The Fall – Powder Keg
And what else is the world today than a powder keg? 47 Sexores – Bluish Lovers
Ecuador 48 The Supremes – Someday We’ll Be Together …but will we? 49 The Psychedelic Furs – Sister Europe
“Words are all just useless sound” … for all my Furs friends 50 Tori Amos – Josephine 51 Cowboy Junkies – Cowboy Junkies Lament
Memories of college-era road trip with my Russian class, all long disappeared, all of us singing together in that fleeting moment of closeness. And the long, lost Townes van Zandt, who wrote this song for the Cowboy Junkies. “There’s a hole in heaven where some sin slips through/Close your eyes and dream real steady/Maybe just a little will spill on you” 52 Al Green – How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?
“I could never see tomorrow/I was never told about the sorrow” 53 The Cranberries – No Need to Argue
RIP Dolores O’Riordan. I remember listening to this song on repeat one year during college – it had such a sad, resigned finality to it that resonated with me (as I greeted endings, particularly of relationships with this kind of sad resignation. I have never been the type to really “freak out” and go crazy). This seemed like the perfect anthem for that kind of sad acceptance. Much as we must go forward with sad acceptance when people die too soon.
01 Grace Lightman – Halloween is Over
Because Halloween really is over 02 Inspiral Carpets – This is How It Feels
Lonely and nostalgic 03 Robyn Hitchcock – Raining Twilight Coast
“Just one thing, baby, you forgot my heart”. Glasgow in May 04 Soccer Mommy – Switzerland
“i trace and memorize your curves and lines until my fingers start to bleed
we could go some place alone
don’t you see
we could go somewhere it snows
just you and me
we could go to switzerland
never come back home again “ 05 Calypso Valois – Amoureuse 06 Luwten – Double for Me…You don’t want to need but need to know what you want/You think that if you need too much you’ll end up with none…
“What you said is not what you meant
You haven’t quite figured it out yet” 07 Lykke Li – Love Me Like I’m Not Made of Stone
Sweden 08 Nap Eyes – Alaskan Shake
Nova Scotia 09 Moonface, Siinai – The Nightclub Artiste
Pretty prolific Canadian from delightful British Columbia 10 Elvis Perkins – While You Were Sleeping 11 Niobe – Hawaii Duet 12 Summer Aviation – Thrust
Old friends 13 Nana – Gato é Crime, Denuncie
meow… meow… 14 DRINKS – Hermits on Holiday
For beloved grumpy would-be hermits and mugwumps 15 The Amazing – Perfect Day for Shrimp
Why, Swedish, of course… 16 Black Marble – Iron Lung 17 Vashti Bunyan – If I Were
A name-dropping opportunity 18 Lily & Madeleine – Devil We Know…Come the memories, come the shivering cold, let the rain fall…
Better the liar you know… 19 Fats Domino – Every Night About This Time
RIP – 2017 20 Al-Masrieen – Asef Gedan
Egypt. Cheers to Aurélien and Cat 21 Moon Palace – Shapeshifter
Is a person a liar or just a shapeshifter? …Seattle 22 Sylvia Striplin – You Can’t Turn Me Away 23 The Third Bardo – I’m Five Years Ahead of My Time 24 Clap Your Hands Say Yeah – The Pilot…A tough-love motherfucker, who was born a clown…
“What could I say? What was I after?
I forgot, but you figured it out for me again with your radio silence” 25 Sevdaliza – The Language of Limbo
Iranian-Dutch 26 Over the Rhine – Faithfully Dangerous
Memories of the 1990s. “I wonder which part of this will leave a scar”. Ohio. 27 LCD Soundsystem – Emotional Haircut
Glasgow in May? 28 Anchorsong – Butterflies 29 David Cassidy – I Think I Love You
RIP – 2017 30 Cults – Right Words 31 An Luu – Pourquoi tu me fous plus des coups? 32 Christopher Owens – Heroine (Got Nothing on You) 33 St Vincent – Sugarboy 34 Sébastien Tellier – Drunk on the Radio 35 Luwten – Indifference
Netherlands 36 Maggie Rogers – Alaska (acoustic)
“And I walked off you
And I walked off an old me” 37 Kyu Sakamoto – Sukiyaki
The old days: Japan 38 Laibach – Drzava
Slovenia 39 Otis Redding – That’s How Strong My Love Is
You can’t not love Otis 40 Eivør – Salt
Much love to very music-loving colleague, Eva
“langt burtur úr landi
hómi eg gráan av minnum
lati aldurnar taka meg
føli djúphavið darra
havið er í mær
er saltið í tárunum” 41 Tropic of Cancer – The Dull Age 42 Helado Negro – Lengua Larga
Ecuador-USA
“Abre tu boca que quiero conocer
Adentro
Y hay un gran vacío
Conocido” 43 Sound of Ceres – Gemini Scenic
For twins of all kinds: birthday twins, astrological twins, lost twins 44 Patio Furniture – Please, Please, Please Let me get what I want
A song for the hardy, sturdy patio furniture 45 Neşe Alkan – Kaçma Güzel
Turkiye 46 Acetone – Shaker 47 Aimee Mann – Knock It Off…You had your chances but now they’re gone…
“Seattle finally couldn’t hold her” 48 Summer Aviation – Angle of Attack
Old friends, lovely sounds 49 Coparck – A Dog and Pony Show
Netherlands
Martina! Here’s to, if not the end of dog and pony shows, at least new and exciting ones 50 Shura – Nothing’s Real
“I’m a dead girl walking
I need medicine” 51 Salma Agha – Barish Men Main Khari 52 Natalia Lafourcade – No Más Llorar
Mexico
“No más llorar
Sé que ya lo nuestro no tiene remedio
Pero no más llorar” 53 Anna Burch – Tea-Soaked Letter
Detroit
“I forgot to fake
The way that I was feeling
I guess it’s too late
Now all my cards are showing” 54 Malena Zavala – Should I Try (acoustic)
Argentina 55 Mdou Moctar – Iblis Amghar
Tuareg/Niger 56 Softer Still – 1993
England, of course 57 Ages and Ages – How It Feels
Portland, Oregon 58 Jaws of Love – Love Me Like I’m Gone
Thanks, with love, to Andreas 59 Heartless Bastards – Marathon
Cincinnati (why are people always surprised that Ohio has not only a bunch of cities but a ton of bands?). Not my kind of marathon, but okay… 60 Marta Kubišová – Cesta
Requisite Czech. Love to Martina, dearest Anne and Mr MI 61 P.P. Arnold – Medicated Goo
Good goo of random gum and love and life 62 Hatchie – Sure
Australia 63 Mattiel – Not Today
“Everything’s okay – but maybe not today” 64 Cinnamon Tapes – Cinnamon Sea
São Paulo. 65 France Gall – Les sucettes
RIP – 2018 66 Xenoula – Tororoi
South Africa/Wales 67 Essaie Pas – Futur Parlé
Montréal, bien sûr 68 Jonathan Bree, Clara Viñals – Say You Love Me Too
Thanks to Tom 69 Julia Holter – Don’t Make Me Over
The simplicity of this song makes me overly emotional
“Don’t make me over
Now that I can’t make it without you” 70 Angel Olsen – Fly On Your Wall
“I found a feeling inside
Or should I say it found me
I turned into someone I
Never imagined I’d be”
So, even though we are a full month out from Halloween, I have been extraordinarily organized and have finished putting together my Halloween CD mix for this year quite early. The mailings have begun going out in the post.
And, as I have written in the note that accompanies the CD, the time has come at last – this will be the last of my random gum CD mixes. At least of the physical, postal-mail variety. As technology has rendered the CD a useless would-be Frisbee, I am looking for another solution for sharing music (other than Spotify playlists at least). I may still send cards/greetings by post because I’m still old-fashioned like that. But continuing this effort is fruitless. It has been a roller coaster of randomness these 13 years that I’ve been making and sending these mixes. And to reflect an end as random as this gum has always been, I’ve chosen fittingly strange and random music.
Although I have not expressed these sentiments in the letter I included with the CD, I do feel like I am shedding a skin – or some kind of layer(s) – again – as though I am preparing for something else. I don’t know what it is. But I have largely left behind my TV addiction, my baking addiction, and now this (and most of my postal letter writing in general). I don’t know why these things no longer interest me the way they used to, except to say that my disconnection from feeling and indeed, often, from actually living, has dissipated. The end of the embargo against living, I suppose, means that new things and new people occupy my time and, more importantly, my heart.
01 Aliza Gabbai – “Mimigdal Shalom”
Israeli pop from the 1960s. Too cute 02 Rola Saad – “Min Bein Alkoul”
Because Lebanon 03 DIANA – “What You Get”…Echo comes back to your lonely room/Said my head, my heart, I can’t take it anymore…
Stuck so much in 2017 on the concept of place – real, imagined; in the world or in the mind 04 Savoy Motel – “Souvenir Shop Rock”
Nashville is for dancing 05 Tindersticks – “My Sister”…Here I am, this is me/I am yours and everything about me,/everything you see,/If only you look hard enough/I never could…
Had this spun up but was unsure til I talked to a Norwegian in the mountains who was listening to Tindersticks. “Our life was a pillow fight…” 06 Trio Esperança – “Filme Triste”
Yummy 50s-60s Brazilian pop. Can you see where we’re going here? 07 Dean & Britta – “Night Nurse”…I am the night nurse, I am the most/I am the visitor, you are the host… 08 Blouse – “1000 Years”…I move the furniture around/And trick you into lying down…
“I would never hurt you/Or disappear/I’ll love you for a thousand years” 09 Jillian & the Giants – “Mr Airplane”…I don’t even mind…
Up in the air. “Here we go again, sure was nice for a little while/That rosy pink glow/turns red hot when you go/Too high into the other side” 10 Aquaserge – “Virage sud”
Vive la France 11 Connie Kim – “Lý Luận Tình Yêu”
Vietnam. The 70s. What more can one say? 12 Snail Mail – “Thinning”…I don’t think there’s anything wrong… 13 The Horrors – “Sea Within a Sea”…So you might say/The path we share is one of danger/And of fear/Until the end…
For J, the sea within my sea – a sea of constant gentle waves interrupted with the occasional giant waves 14 Lindstrøm – “I Feel Space”
For me, it’s Norway meets Chicago 15 Melike Demirağ – “Hasret”
Türkiye! 16 Meshell Ndegeocello, Sinéad O’Connor – “Don’t Take All Night”
For the love of all that is good in the world 17 Weyes Blood – “Names of Stars”
Places like beauty, simplicity and the cosmos 18 U.N.P.O.C. – “Beautiful to Me”…From time to time I think I must be going blind…
The dear, green place that is Glasgow 19 Evinha – “Vou Seguindo”
Year 2000! Goin’ to Rio! (Naomi)… and our ears take us back to some other time (SD: “I’ll get a job some other time!”) 20 Palace Winter – “Soft Machine”
Not frequent that I get to include Denmark (especially with a dose of Australia). “Acting so obscene/Well by all means/Now that you and I are free/And I’m off my knees” 21 Kristin Hersh – “Nerve Endings”…We’re idiotic optimistics/Rubbing salt into my wrists/Till I feel almost nothing…
So far from soft-eject beige 22 Damien Jurado – “QACHINA”
Seattle. “I lost my mind, so I stepped out for a time/Went for a walk on a long road to unwind” 23 Khruangbin – “Ma Be Ham Nemiresim”
Texas, if you can believe it 24 Destroyer – “Hey, Snow White”…When the company goes public, you’ve got to learn to love what you own…
Oh, Canada… 25 Solar Bears – “Cosmic Runner”
Ireland 26 First Hate – “The One”…You treated me so carelessly/You kept imagining the one…
Copenhagen… another Danish set… so much like the 80s 27 Lea Porcelain – “Out Is In”
My sort of cities (Berlin/London) 28 Moon Duo – “Cold Fear”
Portland 29 Monomono – “Tire Loma Da Nigbehin”
Nigeria… and memories of Billy, Travis and me in happening Årjäng 30 Luna – “Chinatown”
Winter 2017 31 Suburban Lawns – “Flavor Crystals”
Sounds sort of fresh but is almost as old as I am; everything old is new again 32 The Breeders – “Fortunately Gone”…I wait for you in heaven/On this perfect string of love…
It’s so good those days are gone. The past, too, is a place. Both distant and near 33 Richard & Linda Thompson – “I Want to See the Bright Lights Tonight” 34 Mary Timony – “Return to Pirates”
Lost in the particular Mary Timony sound. “I cannot love you more/Said the doctor to the whore/I wanna be in the garden of love/Led by a lamb and a little white dove/I know you can/But I don’t think I can/Swim in your river/And sleep on your sand” 35 Miss Universum – “Fertilize”…I need a man, I need him quick/I need his sperm, I need his dick/I do not need to be seduced/I just need to be reproduced…
When I first heard this, I didn’t really expect it to be Swedish. 36 Hand Habits – “All the While”
“Bring me to the deepest pit/You can push me right off the edge/And when I show up in your dreams/You got away with it” 37 Eefje de Visser – “Ongeveer”
Dutched up. Almost convinced Dutch could be pretty… 38 Mark Eitzel – “The Last Ten Years”…Spent the last ten years/Trying to waste half an hour… 39 Aimee Mann – “Labrador”
“Daisy, you/shouldn’t do the things you do/but you’re just so incapable of changing/you lie so well/I could never even tell/what were facts in your artful rearranging” 40 Joel Alme – “The Way We Used to Beg”
Göteborg. “You were a cold hard stone/But how does it feel to be alone” 41 Teleman – “Glory Hallelujah”…However do you haunt me… 42 San Mei – “Until You Feel Good”
Thank you to Travis 43 Mallu Magalhães – “Culpa do Amor”
Gone back to Brazil, yet again 44 Mazzy Star – “Blue Flower”
Kitchen singalongs and traumatic high-school-era memories 45 Wooden Shjips – “Everybody Knows” …The longing for home/We’re only alone… 46 Aamina Camaari – “Rag waa Nacab iyo Nasteexo”
Bet you couldn’t have guessed I’d take us to Somalia? 47 Blonde Redhead – “Where Your Mind Wants to Go”…If it’s not me or you, then why?… 48 Jane Weaver – “The Architect”
Be the architect of your spaces and places 49 The Bombay Royale – “I Love You Love You”
Melbourne 50 Yma Sumac – “Karibe Taki” 51 Feist – “I Wish I Didn’t Miss You”…I was so disappointed I didn’t know what to do… 52 Young Marble Giants – “Brand – New – Life”
Cymru am byth 53 Eerie Wanda – “I Am Over Here”…And I found you and we make/Sweetest memories/Now I’m here and you are overseas…
We are the world: Dutch band, Dutch-Croatian singer 54 Hater – “Cry Later”
Malmö 55 Richard Hawley – “Tonight the Streets are Ours” 56 Tennis – “Night Vision”
Can’t listen to Tennis without thinking of Esteban 57 Guided by Voices – “Game of Pricks”
“Prick with fork” – love to my mom and to Naomi 58 The Novacs – “Found”
Airdrie! (The Scottish one, not the weird, middle-of-nowhere Airdrie in the Edmonton-Calgary, Alberta corridor) 59 Haifa Wehbe – “Albi Habb”
もう少し Lebanon 60 The Kills – “Monkey 23” 61 Big Thief – “Shark Smile”…she said woo/baby take me…
“She held us, gunning out 90 miles down the road of a dead end dream
she looked over with her part smile, caught up in the twinkle it could take awhile” 62 Linda McCartney – “I Got Up”
Getting up is also a place, a real place 63 Haley Bonar – “Kismet Kill”
“I was impossible when I was beautiful and now/Cartoon deaths just don’t seem so funny” 64 Blouse – “Trust Me”
Famous last words: “Trust me, I’m the one who loves you” 65 Globelamp – “Washington Moon”…I want a California sun/And a Washington moon… 66 Jessica Pratt – “Bushel Hyde”…Words mean more that they did before/In that other place… 67 Robyn Hitchcock – “Sayonara Judge”
October in Oslo 68 Linda Perhacs – “Chimacum Rain”
Lichen. Lichen. Lichen. Oh, dear T’Pow 69 Amália Rodrigues – “Abril”
I love Amália Rodrigues and was surprised to see that that particular tune was one of the least-ever listened to on Spotify. I decided to remedy that all on my own 70 Life Without Buildings – “Sorrow”…Difficult people slip away…
Glesga Glesga Glesga (Glasgow for those not in-the-know) 71 J&L Defer – “Hard Fiction Road”
For SD: Refer to theme song of Canadian children’s show “The Littlest Hobo” at this time. How’s that for random? Even though this is a band from Winterthur, Switzerland, y’know? 72 Wand – “Melted Rope”
“Desire, I barely thinking/In the dark/And life, life is what you wanted/It’s what you are” 73 Koncz Zsuzsa – “Keresem a szót”
Hungarian. And had to choose… for the name Zsuzsa. Just for Martina. 74 She-Devils – “I Wanna Touch You”…can you read my mind?…
Montréal 75 Kikagaku Moyo (幾何学模様)- “Kogarashi”
Tokyo 76 The Limiñanas feat Peter Hook – “Garden of Love”
To France and beyond 77 Yasmine Hamdan – “Samar – Oriental Skeee Remix”
No escape from Lebanon 78 Cold Beat – “62 Moons”…It’s cold but I don’t mind/I’m accustomed to ice…
The Bay Area… 79 Kerem Güney – “Sicak Bir Sevda”
Istanbul grooves 80 Alvvays – “In Undertow”…You made a mistake you’d like to erase and I understand “What’s left for you and me?”…
On, on Toronto – pulled in and pulled under 81 The Magnetic Fields – “Strange Powers”
Song is so New York, so Las Vegas, so outer space 82 Cults – “Go Outside”…I think I want to live my life and you’re just in my way… 83 ShitKid – “Sugar Town”
Sweden remakes 84 Santo & Johnny – “Pineapple Princess”
Aloha from this arctic hula doll 85 Sam Cohen – “Kepler 62”
“Strange neighbors as you know/They come and go/They live in a world without you” 86 Imarhan – “Assossamagh”
Algeria/Tuareg 87 Whyte Horses – “The Snowfalls”
Manchester 88 Rana Alagöz – “Vah Bacim Vah Mehmedim”
That’s nobody’s business but the Turks… 89 EL VY – “Paul is Alive”…Nobody stays above/Out in the waves of love… 90 Carla dal Forno – “What You Gonna Do Now?”
Aussie. Transcends 91 Sanisah Huri – “Joget Malam Berinai”
Singapore/Malaysia. I said I’d show you the world, baby. I just didn’t say it’d be through your ears 92 Monument Valley – “Dear John Letters” 93 Lea Porcelain – “The Love” 94 Grizzly Bear – “Mourning Sound”…Let love age/And watch it burn out and die…
“I stare at the face/Looking through my eyes/I move at a pace/That I cannot survive” 95 Marjan – “Kee Seda Kard Mano”
Iran 96 Heavens to Betsy – “Axemen”
Like being in a high school gym pep rally (as in the song) or first miserable year of uni 97 Mia Doi Todd – “Pancho and Lefty”
A pretty version of best-songwriter-ever (and now-near-ubiquitous) Townes van Zandt tune 98 Pridjevi – “Ako Je”
Hrvatska 99 Widowspeak – “When I Tried”…I was more alive when I tried… 100 The Proper Ornaments – “Cremated (Blown Away)”
London. “I would like to be cremated and blown away…” 101 Věra Příkazská, Plzeňský lidový soubor, Lidová chodská, Zdenek Blaha – “Ó radost má”
Czech check. Love to Martina, Anne 102 Cigarettes after Sex – “Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby”
“Whispered something in your ear/It was a perverted thing to say/But I said it anyway/Made you smile and look away”. Lovely but also sounds like it belongs in an 80s John Hughes romance 103 Adia Victoria – “Mortimer’s Blues”…Heaven help me how it hurts…
Back to Nashville 104 Patti Smith – “My Madrigal”…You pledged me your heart/Till death do us part…
“We waltzed beneath motionless skies/All heaven’s glory turned in your eyes”
The Good Goo of Random Gum: Darling Buds of May Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,/And summer’s lease hath all too short a date Shakespeare, sonnet 18
06 Arab Strap – “The First Big Weekend of 2016”
Sigh, here we go again, Mr Firewall. My heart always lies, cries and dies in Glasgow
07 Slowgold – “Korta sommar”
Surprise, surprise: Sweden; short summer (and this year, long winter… still snowing in May!)
08 Mount Eerie – “Real Death”…Though you clawed at the cliff you were sliding down/Being swallowed into a silence that’s bottomless and real…
Heartbreaking true story of loss; what remains in mortality’s aftermath. Feeling lucky. Could be a companion piece to the book Grief is the Thing with Feathers
09 Elvis Perkins – “My Kind”…I conjure you/And you produce me/An off-white heir/for my vanity…
Love for Catherine S, who recommended Perkins years ago
11 Leon Bridges – “River”
“Oh, I wanna come near and give you/Every part of me/But there’s blood on my hands/And my lips aren’t clean”
12 Merchandise – “Become What You Are”…But it don’t really matter what I say/You’re just going to twist it anyway…
“No I couldn’t bear the burden/So I threw it all away/I left my home and all my friends behind”
15 Yamasuki Singers – “Yokomo”
Something old that sounds new (predating my life at least), from the father of one of the Daft Punk dudes. I can’t get enough – this one is great for driving along winding country roads in the sun
16 Belle & Sebastian – “The Stars of Track and Field”…But when she’s on her back/She had the knowledge/To get her where she wanted…
Oh, yes, endless love affair with Glasgow & Scotland ❤
17 First Aid Kit – “Emmylou”…Oh the bitter winds are coming in/And I’m already missing the summer/Stockholm’s cold but I’ve been told/I was born to endure this kind of weather…
“I’ll be your Emmylou and I’ll be your June/If you’ll be my Gram and my Johnny too/No, I’m not asking much of you/Just sing little darling, sing with me”
18 Laura Gibson – “Not Harmless”…I’ll teach you to cry in a crowded room/I’ll teach you how to talk ’till your teeth come loose…
19 New Fast Automatic Daffodils – “Fishes Eyes”
Oh, the familiar sounds of the high school years. Here’s to long-lost Terra Firma.
22 Christopher Owens – “Another Loser Fuck Up”…Sometimes a song is like a photograph:/Everybody wants to figure it out/But you and I will see a different picture/And I don’t need to tell you what it’s about…
23 Gram Parsons – “Return of the Grievous Angel”
Escape from rehab hospital, take ten. For SD
24 Françoise Hardy, Jacques Dutronc – “Amours toujours, tendresse, caresses”
One of those carefree-feeling-over-it kinds of songs. Of course, there must be quelque chose French
29 Martha Wainwright – “I Will Internalize”…I am wet and weak…
I’ve included this one in a mix years ago but it felt appropriate for now 30 Tele Novella – “Sacramento”…one day you’ll die going into the light/and you’ll find yourself right here/turn the doorknob without fear/you were always coming here/since the day your soul appeared…
Spending frustrating days secluded at home, left to my own devices. Love for J, fellow at-home worker
31 The Beau Brummels – “Laugh, Laugh”
Those times when your breath is taken away, and it hurts, to laugh so hard…
35 Feist, Jarvis Cocker – “Century”…I fought my feelings and got in the way/Could’ve been easier than a decade of days…
A vaguely PJ Harvey sound going on here but unmistakably Feist-style lyrics
36 Fruit Bats – “Flamingo”
“The last thing I’ll do before I call it quits/Is probably dream just a little bit/But nothing too hard on my sweet fadin’ mind ’cause everything is gonna be just fine”
50 The Modern Lovers – “Hospital”…I’ll seek out the places that must have been magic/To your little girl mind/Now as a little girl/You must have been magic…
“I still get jealous of your old boyfriends/In the suburbs sometimes/And when I walk down your street/Probably be tears in my eyes/I can’t stand what you do/Sometimes I can’t stand you/And it makes me think about me/That I’m involved with you/But I’m in love with this power that shows through in your eyes”
51 The Boomtown Rats – “Banana Republic”…Stab you in the back yeah laughin’ in your face/Glad to see the place again, it’s a pity nothing’s changed…
For Travis, for Angelika – the very few who can join me in loving the Rats
52 Juana Molina – “Cosoco” 53 Marvin Gaye – “It’s a Desperate Situation”
Got on a bit of a Marvin Gaye kick; this song fit the frame of mind (can’t shake the sense that certain urges are uncontrollable – the lyrics don’t really apply in the least!). For J
57 The Jones Girls – “You Gonna Make Me Love Somebody Else”
A reminder of the lovely visit from Travis and Billy and discussions on musical ‘guilty pleasures’
58 The Avalanches – “If I Was a Folkstar”
“And I’d like to see her every day/I know I can’t be gone every weekend/Let’s wake up side by side/Let’s sleep in till we die”. On the road visiting the PoPos (Portugal, Poland, not the police). For R
59 Sam Evian – “Sleep Easy”…chemicals and candy/don’t know what they do to me/but I know I got a song/to come home to…
60 Robyn Hitchcock & the Egyptians – “Raymond Chandler Evening”
Beloved Hitchcock. “There’s a body on the railing/that I can’t identify/and I’d like to reassure you but/I’m not that kind of guy”
61 The Radio Dept. – “Sloboda Narodu”…When out of patience/Is your constant state of mind…
65 Aztec Camera – “We Could Send Letters”…And now I’ve seen what you can’t understand /I’d try to lead you but I’d crush your hand…
Classic, brilliant song and more Glasgow-area/Scotland goodness. “So if we weaken, we can call it stress/You’ve got my trust, I’ve got your home address/And now the only chance that we could take/Is the chance that someone else won’t make it all come true”
66 Eleni Mandell – “Someone to Love Like You”…some people never stop trying…
68 Childbirth – “Siri, Open Tinder”
I marvel at this title that now makes perfect sense but would once have been nonsensical gibberish. And of course this comes from Seattle…
69 Nathan Fake – “The Sky was Pink”
The pink morning and evening skies on the homestead
70 Rivulets – “Ride On, Molina” …I feel a fever coming on…
J and those horribly feverish days
71 Dear Nora – “The Lonesome Border, Pt 1”
Border life, as usual. “And I know we’re gonna last a long time/But I can’t help but need to live from minute to minute/’Cause now it is said there’s a change/And I sense the change in me”
72 Emma Pollock – “Don’t Make Me Wait”…I’m just the one to mop it up/When someone overflows your cup/Sitting in the shadows till you blame me…
The anthem of this late part of spring… waiting for winter to end, even as we head into summer, always waiting for the next step, the next move. And of course – Glasgow Glasgow Glasgow ❤ “You’ll never ever make it on your own/what makes you think you’ll make it on your own?”
73 Gwenno – “Chwyldro”…Paid, paid anghofio fod dy galon yn y chwyldro…
Because who in her right might would not want to learn Welsh?
74 O – “Deepthroat Love”…But I fear you In an offhand way/Digging the back door/Slamming, my heart in a daze/And you like that/It’s a lot like God/But not close enough…
Mr L… “you got a lot goin’ on, don’t you babe? My deepthroat love…”
81 Marvin Gaye – “All My Life” 82 Robyn Hitchcock – “To Turn You On”
Love for J. “I would leave you as you were/If I wanted to/Then I wonder is it fair/Now you’re on your own/Who cares about you/Except me, God help me/When things go wrong/I’d do anything to turn you/Must phone me, you know me/When things go wrong/I’d do anything to turn you on”. Roxy Music cover
83 Pavo Pavo – “Ran Ran Run”…time is a hole in my waterbed/some kind of cardinal sin/tomorrow might be sleeping in…
86 Michael Kiwanuka – “Cold Little Heart”…I can’t stand myself…
“I’ve been losing you/one day at a time”. Wouldn’t have known the song were it not for the Big Little Lies miniseries, for which this was the theme – but both well worthwhile. Now I am well and truly terrified of Alexander Skarsgård
87 Charlie Hilton – “100 Million”
“I’m a fountain/you can throw yourself in me”
90 Cowboy Junkies – “You Will Be Loved Again”…Her cold eyes tell you that you’re not welcome/she tells lies, but you’ll take her back again…
“How can he take you in his arms, and help you to be free, then leave you forgotten?” “Someday you will feel a love so deep, and you’ll find someone not lost in sleep…”
Not entirely sure what to say because I have resorted to making these mixes with such frequency.
*Considering the ‘same airport, different man’ question – in how many different men and different (and same) airports have I experienced these greetings and departures? Meeting one in Copenhagen airport and later him greeting me at Paris CDG and later at Stockholm Arlanda? Or all the Oslo Oslo and more Oslo. Or arriving and departing Lyon. The endless hours in and out of Minneapolis-St Paul. And let’s not forget the old days of meeting-greeting-bidding adieu at Keflavik. Or the Sea-Tac of another life.
Tips and tricks of how these mixes are built: my favorite songs are usually at the beginning and the end – occasionally one I really like comes in the middle. There are always a few that are not good songs but are reminders of some moments in my life. This time is was a lot about sound – what sounds and transitions made the most sense to me and my ears? What appealed to me most as I walked through the hills or drove late at night through the city, lost in detours avoiding all the endless construction. Music carries you through most of all when you’re lost.
Many people have let me know they no longer have conventional CD players, so I am cutting back on mailing these by post. I also have the entire playlist freely available on Spotify if you want to see it (and you can follow me on Spotify to find all the lists, dating back to 2004). I have not yet found a better alternative where I can put all the lists and tracks that will make it easily accessible for everyone.
I never intended for this springtime playlist to grow to such massive proportions. It’s just that I was exposed to so much music – so much sound – so much joy – so much pain in the last few months, and this is the result. My experience and memory filtered into an auditory blueprint. Effortlessly. It’s long – so long – but I did not feel like censoring or making choices because I do that all the rest of the time in my life. You don’t have to listen or like this compilation of 110 bloody songs (although on the burned discs I’ve mailed by post, it looks like maybe only 109 of them actually worked – sorry)… but I am sharing all of it anyway because it’s just what I do.
I never imagine that very much happens or changes in my life, but then when I have an opportunity to reflect, I realize that major things have happened almost weekly over the course of the last six months…. I won’t go into the minutiae of that. I will only say that, as ever, nothing is settled. I am spending a lot of time thinking, reading and writing… and it’s all I feel like doing. It makes for a bit of an insular life that yields very little to tell/share (other than ‘insights’ or takeaways from the things I read and listen to…).
The postal versions (to those for whom I have postal addresses) are going out in the mail this week.
To move on you must move through… Love to all of you.
Random Gum: Moving on Again – How to live with a phantom: Spring into action 2017
(Almost) complete playlist on Spotify.
01. Ed Harcourt – Born in the 70s
Thanks to MP & chats on generational issues. “But can you count on me?/I might let you down/In a world that is so sensational/No you can count on me/I’m living for the now/Up against the older generation’s wall”
02. The Shacks – This Strange Effect…and I like the way you kiss me, don’t know if I should/but this feeling is love and I know that’s why I feel good…
03. The Associates – Love Hangover…I don’t need no cure…
Thanks to William
04. Psychic Twin – Hopeless…And I remain hopelessly alone in the heart/Like I’ve always been from the start…
05. Bubblegum Lemonade – As Dead as Disco…I’m San Francisco; you are New York…
Thanks to some random Glaswegian Twitter guy
06. Girl Ray – Trouble…I don’t want to win anymore, Cause honey, winning it just make me feel sore…
Trouble always finds me. Slight 70s sound; good lead-in tone and theme wise to “The Lonely Man”
07. The Incredible Hulk TV theme song – The Lonely Man
For SD
08. Howard Jones – Things Can Only Get Better
Planned to include this (thinking 2017 could only be better after 2016 – wrong so far!) and then realized dear Bethany also put it on a recent mix she sent – and even gave the mix this title.
09. Bill Ryder-Jones – You Can’t Hide a Light with the Dark…The way you fall apart/I still adore it…
“The light’s on in your backroom/Are you with him/Are you with him/The lights off and it’s darkness/You’re so heartless”
10. Maud Lübeck – Mon amourenboîte
Thanks to Laurent
11. Palehound – Cinnamon…Mellow, cringing ugly fellows/Mixing water into gin/And chasing it with cinnamon…
12. Minor Victories – Breaking My Light…Will these shadows lift/They’ve been breaking my light…
Thanks and love to MP, who once or twice helped lift some shadows
13. Rabbit is Rich – Kick Your Ass
More thanks to the incomparable William, king of Christmas cards and cool music mixes
14. Andrew Bird – Tin Foil…What is moving will be still/What has gathered will disperse…
“Evil Knievel shot up from dead grass/And I loved him better each time that he crashed”
15. Maria Andersson – The Girl Who Loved Islands
Probably just because I am nothing if not an island girl at heart
16. Bill Pritchard – Mother Tongue…They lived in separate countries, as we watched their future unfurl…
“What’s that you mean?/I don’t think I caught your tone/Say that again in your mother tongue”
17. Max Shrager – Thoughts of You…to hold onto my thoughts of you…
18. The War on Drugs – Red Eyes
Always a driving song… don’t drive as much as I used to but still need songs for the road
19. Boy & Bear – Southern Sun…You see I’m not gonna wait till the end of me/’Cause I got the burning fire in bed of my soul…
20. Crystal Stilts – The Dazzled…It can’t be saved. It’s already lost, it thrives on my resistance/We are bound and marching to an ever static distance…
21. Vetiver – Can’t You Tell…Look ahead where our future hides/But the world waits wide-eyed…
22. Trailer Trash Tracys – You Wish You Were Red…Oh my darling, you’re a dying red star…
23. Steve Mason – The Letter…could it be that you don’t know me any more?…
Was supposed to see this dude twice within a week (Gothenburg and Oslo). Canceled. It was not how I had imagined anyway, so just as well that none of it happened.
24. Cass McCombs – There Can Be Only One
“Like a master’s baptism of fire/I know you have your ways/And two masters at once, no man can acquire/You set my heart ablaze”
25. Japanese Breakfast – The Woman that Loves You…You should try to do as little harm as you can to the woman that loves you…
26. Neko Case, kd lang, Laura Veirs – Down I-5…Driving down I-5/I don’t ever want to die/Cause I’d no more get to see/All this beauty passing by me…
How many fruitless trips down I-5 have I taken? “You know you’re living if you’ve sinned”
27. Thelma – If You Let It…lines are crossed of will and fear/it is ringing loud and clear…
“Feel the limits you put/on yourself and those around you/you deserve more, you deserve more”. Here’s to seizing more.
28. Chelsea Wolfe – Appalachia…like black diamonds, ash and light/like the mines and anthracite…
29. Timber Timbre – Velvet Gloves & Spit
30. Totally Mild – Christa…It doesn’t matter what you do/It only matters who you do it with…
31. Childish Gambino – Me and Your Mama
For Naomi, who did not realize Donald Glover was Childish Gambino.
32. Houndstooth – Canary Island…it’s never been quite right/always taking things to dark inside/a restless mind is hard please/most of the time…
“Oh to be the dust that covers/everything”
33. Hefner – Half a Life…Life without my sweetheart is only half a life…
34. Stereolab – Ping Pong
Socialism in song… hitting the musical ball back and forth with MP
35. Beachbuggy – Japanese Radio Ad
More Japanese noise and more love to MP 36. AdriAnne Lenker – Jonathan…listen up, I’m a wreck I’m a mess, this is not the effect/Of a loss or a vex, this is you…
“Let me be the honest home where you can rest/Your tired mind”
37. Tinariwen – Cler Achel
A very Al Jazeera documentary-loving, Henry-Rollins-style travels kind of music
38. Chelsea Wolfe – Flatlands…I want flatlands/will you go there with me…
“When it’s said in the dark and you know it’s always there/when it’s dead in our heart but your mind is unafraid/when it’s said in the dark and you know it’s never coming back/when it’s there in your heart in your mind you set it free”
39. Josienne Clarke and Ben Walker – I Never Learned French
Where have all my French connections gone? 40. Cats on Fire – It’s Clear Your Former Lover
Funnish Finns. “Now, it’s possible he may have been the one who loved you the most/I don’t want to compete and I don’t like the smell of his ghost”
41. The Horrors – Still Life (Connan Mockasin remix)…Slow down/give it time…
Preferred this remix to the original; sitting in a shopping mall parking lot waiting for a friend, listening and absorbing the message: “Don’t hurry, give it time. Things are the way they have to be.”
42. Baxter Dury – Other Men’s Girls
43.Morgan Delt – Some Sunsick Day…After the blast levels our town/We can relax and watch it come down…
“After we start over again/We’ll start to feel safe in our skin/Maybe we’ll be wrinkled and grey/Or maybe we’ll get new plastic faces/We’ll finally find what we need”
44. Vashti Bunyan – Love Song
Thanks to, love for MP
45. Space Needle – Before I Lose My Style…I tried to be it all/when I left you behind…
46. Galaxie 500 – Snowstorm
Thoughts of MP and an almost-snowless winter
47. Itasca – No Consequence
With love for Annette – plenty of consequences.
48. The Limiñanas – Down Underground
49. Jenny Hval – Conceptual Romance…I want to give up but I can tell/My heartbreak is too sentimental for you…
This song is everything. ”A sexual holding pattern/Stuck in erotic self-oscillation/This landmine of a heart/The only one I’ve ever had/I’ve ever had”; “So I lose my gaze to keep you/Creating a curve for the eyes/A rejected body/And losing it is constant, but such a lonely place/What can I say?/I don’t know who I am, but/I’m working on it…”
50. Psychic Ills – Mind Daze…I’m doing fine/when I’m out of my mind…
51. Suuns – 2020
52. Minor Victories – Give Up the Ghost…When you act like I’m nothing to you/Make me feel like I’ve been replaced/I could tear you apart/Leave a brand-new scar… 53. Amber Arcades – Constant’s Dream …It’s not different we’re just getting used to it/But we’ve always known what to expect…
“Our bodies are full and nobody is trying/It’s not like we don’t want to, we’re just not desiring”
54. Still Parade – Walk in the Park
Poetry, Wanstead Park and Denise Levertov’s ark-of-the-ache-of-it connection: “Wanstead drew me over and over into its basic poetry”. For MP
55. Josienne Clarke & Ben Walker – Something Familiar
56. Twin Limb – Don’t Even Think
57. Nice as Fuck – Door…All the shit that we talk is a smokescreen/It’s a waste of your time/A waste of my being…
58. Family Friends – Look the Other Way…I think there’s some things you forgot from when we used to talk a lot…
59. Chastity Belt – Seattle Party…Your life is so raw/You’ve been through so much…
60. Pixie Geldof – Wild Things Grow
Not anything I ever anticipated including despite lifelong weird obsession with Bob Geldof; thanks to Travis, this finds its way here 61. Lee Hazlewood – Hey Cowboy
Love to Naomi
62. Matt Duncan – 1000 Boys…This record’s skipping on a sigh… (but not an Eliot sigh…)
“That I’m smitten with my worries and my doubts/No lovelorn prince would ever dare to sing about” 63. Shintaro Sakamoto – In a Phantom Mood
Japan time!
64. Allo Darlin’ – Kiss Your Lips…Then I kissed your lips and for a moment it was heavenly/Because you found me, baby/Baby I found you…
65. Weyes Blood – Seven Words…I want you mostly in the morning/when my soul is weak from dreaming…
66. Julia Jacklin – Pool Party…Said you’re sorry you were drinking through the day then/Only stopped to let your lungs take the hit/Said I won’t blame you now but you lost my love somehow/Then you jumped right in…
I sort of misjudged this song when I first heard it – kinda fitting when I really listened
67. The Innocence Mission – Bright as Yellow…And I do not want to be a rose/I do not wish to be pale pink/But flower scarlet, flower gold/And have no thorns to distance me…
68. I Break Horses – Winter Beats…When your heart in winter beats/Don’t let that cold blood freeze/Cause frozen love will bleed…
Represent the home team (Sweden!) and other people’s Spotify playlists
69. Kim Jung Mi – Haenim
I read about “Korean folk” music, which is like 60s folk rock and nothing to do with traditional Korean music. And you can hear that when you listen to this interesting, if odd, song.
70. Vivian Girls – Where Do You Run To…It’s alright just leave the light on, I will never ask you why/Once you’ve gone remains the question baby/Where do you go? Where do you go? Why do you leave me all alone?…
71. Sam Patch – St. Sebastian
Another one of those whose sound I like…
72. Amber Arcades – Right Now…But we could go right now/We could have another life…
“I made my mind up long ago/The road is long and slow/So many things to leave behind/But everyone can live their lie/I’m not even sure that I don’t like mine”
73. “J’ai perdu mon Eurydice” – from Orphee et Eurydice, Gluck, Donald Runnicles & Orchestra of San Francisco; Dawn Upshaw, Alison Hagley, Jennifer Larmore
74. Wasuremono – Cuddling
As the dear Scots say, to mean ‘cuddling’, “coorie in” 75. Spain – Nobody Has to Know…Girl we’ve fallen so in love/It was just a year ago/And you’ve kept it to yourself…
76. Blake Mills – Don’t Tell Our Friends About Me…I was wrong to turn honesty against you/And sure, some of them could use a good talk…
Seems like a timely kind of song, with thoughts of trying to keep secrets about people “fucking up”
77. King Creosote – And the Racket They Made…And your words chased round and round in my head/Last night…
To the peaceful days that started the year and the endless discography of King Creosote, which droned on all morning and throughout our entire absence when wandering through the cold countryside. “And the tide shrinks back into its womb/And I hope the empty shells and bones of your stories/Will litter and clutter the shores/And I hope that when I find them/I’ll remember how they danced/And the racket they made/When they were alive”
78. William Onyeabor – Ride on Baby…You don’t know why you love me so much, baby…
RIP William, king of Nigerian funk… reminds me of a weird time in my professional career working with insufferable hipsters who spent much of their lives in downward facing dog pose (since they had to be posing somehow…)
79. Glen Campbell – Guess I’m Dumb…The way I act don’t seem like me/I’m not on top like I used to be…
Acknowledging when you’re not on your A-game…
80. Nick Garrie – Can I Stay With You
Calm in the eye of the storm; love for MP
81. Cigarettes After Sex – K.…I remember when I first noticed that you liked me back/We were sitting down in a restaurant waiting for the check/We had made love earlier that day with no strings attached/But I could tell that something had changed how you looked at me then…
What a beautiful song… its combination of beauty and hope kinda makes me feel melancholy.
82. Bubblegum Lemonade – This is the New Normal
Hoping that the world we live in right now is not the new normal…
83. Tenniscoats – Hikoki
Thinking of back when my mom expanded her vocabulary to include the Japanese neko and hikooki
84. Spinning Coin – Albany…When the weather comes/It comes in measures/When the pain comes/Instead of pleasure…
“I don’t know I thought I knew you but I was wrong/I was impressed by your love for complexity”
85. Wolf Alice – Bros…Are you wild like me/Raised by wolves and other beasts…
86. The Duke Spirit – Serenade…slow you remind me/how to be silent/and your story leaves me wanting/and the way I feel is changing…
87. Desperate Journalist – Distance…oh your heart/a hurricane…
How much I want to create distance. “I’ve lost you” – yes, you have. 88. Surface to Air Missive – Time Being…I don’t know where you are now/but it’s someone else for all I know…
The guilt of unanswered/unreciprocated missives. Bigger than surface
89. Billy Bragg – Upfield
“I’ve got a socialism of the heart.” Nothing describes me better at this stage in life
90. Los Campesinos! – You! Me! Dancing!
Thanks to MP and his mad, made-up music ‘game’/DJing a Friday night from afar, as ever
91. Slowdive – Star Roving
To made-up middle-of-night games pitting songs against each other and admissions of never cottoning to Slowdive back in the old days
92. Minor Victories – Scattered Ashes (Song for Richard)
93. Cat’s Eyes – Drag…Oh you’ve been dragging me down…
94. Grouper – Headache…why does love keep letting me down?…
95. Antonio Carlos & Jocafi – Você Abusou
Something from the Cerys on 6 BBC Sunday radio, listened at someone’s suggestion
96. Dirty Projectors – Up in Hudson
Love and thanks to Andreas. The sound here is not mine, but the lyrics… dear, dear heavens
97. Tasseomancy – Dead Can Dance & Neil Young…fade into folk song…
Enjoyed getting lost in the sound…
98. Valerie June – Astral Plane
Thanks to Travis
99. Princess Chelsea – The Cigarette Duet
Thanks to dear Gabe and of course love for New Zealand
100. Super Furry Animals – Hermann Loves Pauline
Gute Nacht, mein Liebling, Roscoe
101. The Proper Ornaments – Memories…memories will go/slowly float away/but I can see your face/from here…
102. The Saxophones – New Tradition
“But I haven’t shown you my best part; it’s too hard, and I’m quick to judge”
103. Sibelius – In the Stream of Life (Rautavaara) 104. Robyn Hitchcock – Goodnight Oslo
105. Spell – Stone is Very Very Cold…my hand may tremble now and then/but my heart can never break again…
106. Julie Byrne – Follow My Voice…To me, this city’s hell/But I know you call it home/I was made for the green/Made to be alone…
“I’ve been called heartbreaker/For doing justice to my own/I, too, been a fault-finder/But that life is broke/How I love you/You’re the one my heart chose/And so I will be here”
107. Ultra Vivid Scene with Kim Deal – Special One
Watching the video on a hotel room bed in Oslo, nearing the end of the five-day bubble, memories of high school for me, an intro to something new for him
108. Sheryl Crow – The Book…I didn’t know by giving my hand/that I would be written down, sliced around, passed down, among strangers’ hands…
A mainstream thing you won’t know, a lot like Friends, but still has its place in pop culture. And this song has always struck me – writers as “voyeur, the worst kind of thief” of such personal details; always be on the defensive. “I read your book/and I find it strange/that I know that girl, I know her world/a little too well”
109. Steve Mason – Hardly Go Through…I’ve never cried over someone I hardly know/But I can feel it/Can you feel it?…
“In my head I hear a voice, they say/You made the wrong choice/And you don’t need me, you’ll never need me”
110. Blondie – Fade Away and Radiate…Electric faces seem to merge/Hidden voices mock your words…
The musical definition of my earliest childhood, still resonating as I burnish in middle age. Isn’t that what memory, intellect, age and living do? Haha. One can hope. “Ooh baby I hear you spend night time/Wrapped like candy in a blue, blue neon glow”
